Feeling lonely after cutting out alcohol? Here are some tips that might help
Quitting drinking is a big step —it's a move toward a healthier, happier life for many people, often driven by the desire to take control, feel better, and have more money in your pocket. But one thing that doesn’t always get talked about is the loneliness that can sneak up on you when you decide to cut back or quit drinking altogether.
The unexpected guest: loneliness
When you stop drinking, you might be ready for the cravings and the emotional ups and downs. But loneliness? That can catch you off guard. A lot of our social lives revolve around drinking—happy hours, parties, going out for a meal, and catching up with friends or family over a drink. Without alcohol, your usual social scene might feel a little empty and unfamiliar.
Social changes and feeling left out
One of the first bumps in the road is the shift in how you connect with people. Friends you used to drink with might not feel as close anymore, and social invitations might become less frequent. It can seem like you’re on the side-lines of social circles you used to be right in the middle of. It’s not just about being physically alone either; it’s the emotional weight of feeling like an outsider that can really sting.
Finding new, meaningful connections
But here’s the upside: this phase of loneliness can also be a chance to discover new things about yourself and build deeper connections with others. It’s a great time to rethink who’s in your life and why.
Try creating new social routines that don’t centre around alcohol, like joining a fitness class, book club, or creative workshop. Try coffee meet-ups, bush-walking groups, or community events to engage with new people in alcohol-free environments.
Consider joining support groups or connecting with others who are on a similar path. Spaces like these offer not just support but real friendships based on shared experiences. The Daybreak app is one such place where you can find community.
Embracing your own company
Loneliness and solitude aren’t the same. Solitude can be a wonderful opportunity for reflection, creativity, and growth. This is your chance to reconnect with yourself, explore new hobbies, revisit old interests, or dive into activities that you’ve always wanted to try but never did. It’s about getting to know yourself again, and finding joy in activities that don’t involve alcohol. You might even find your horizons broaden considerably — you might be more motivated to try new things, particularly when pesky hangovers aren’t an interruption.
Building your support squad
Having a solid support network makes all the difference. This could mean reconnecting with family or old friends, or meeting new people who share your interests and values. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your decision to stop drinking.
If loneliness feels overwhelming, talking to a counsellor or therapist can help you navigate these feelings. Therapy provides a safe space to work through emotions and develop strategies that will work for you.
Moving Forward
Yes, the loneliness after quitting drinking can be tough, but it’s a temporary stage, one that fades as you settle into your new alcohol-free life. With time and effort, you’ll find new connections, and the gap left by alcohol will be filled with meaningful relationships and activities.
Acknowledge and celebrate the milestones you’re achieving, whether it’s a week or a month or a year without alcohol. Recognising your growth keeps you motivated and focused on the positive changes you’re making.
Remember, this journey isn’t just about cutting out alcohol; it’s about rebuilding and rediscovering the life you want to lead. Embrace the solitude, seek support, and stay open to new experiences and friendships. Loneliness is just one chapter of your story—it’s not the whole book. Every step you take is leading you to a richer, more connected, and fulfilling life.
All the best from Hello Sunday Morning. We see you.
I could so easily have missed this perfect sunday morning in bed with a hangover. I drank too much yesterday starting at 3pm. I was feeling lonely. Despite enjoying solitude for art, music lessons or podcasts i was surprised by how lonely I felt. Thanks for pointing out the difference. Sharing how I felt with my partner was a good move as well as I explored some recent triggering events. Thanks also for the reminder about milestones as I dont do that. Fear of failing I think. Ocsober not far away….