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Hello!

If you’ve been rethinking your relationship with alcohol and have stumbled across us, or signed up for our updates, we’d love to show you around. 

You may be asking who is Hello Sunday Morning?

Well, we’re an Australian based not-for-profit organisation dedicated to helping people who want to change their relationship with alcohol. For over 10 years we’ve been changing the world’s relationship with alcohol, one Sunday at a time.

Here’s how we started out, with reflection from our founder Chris Raine:

Chris Raine

Dear Chris,


The next decade of your life will be defined by excessive drinking… but not in the way you think.

READ MORE

And here’s how our story continues today:

Four out of five Australians believe we have a problematic relationship with alcohol that needs to change.

Many of us are looking to experience life without the hangover or making changes to how alcohol features in our lives.  

Hello Sunday Morning works with the support of generous partners and like-minded donors and individual givers to support Australian’s changing their relationship with alcohol, whether that relationship means abstaining, taking a break, or simply understanding how to have a healthy relationship with alcohol. We also focus on reducing stigma around not drinking or abstaining as people work through changes.  

Have you seen our app?

If you’re abstaining, taking a break, or wanting to learn more about changes to alcohol in your life, say hello to our Daybreak app.   

 

Daybreak is a personalised app that supports people changing their drinking habits, one day at a time. It provides support to anyone wanting to change their relationship with alcohol in an anonymous, safe, and secure environment, with access to Care Navigators and personalised support to help you achieve your goal. Because Daybreak is a digital service, you can access this through your mobile phone and enjoy the company of a supportive online community, anytime, anywhere.  

Daybreak app at a glance: 

  • Is a Government funded app that is free for all Australian’s  
  • Members connect to a supportive peer community. That is, people on the same journey sharing compassion, problem-solving, and accountability, helping each other navigate tough times, and keeping each other in check 
  • Provides access to Care Navigators. They can offer personalised care to help you find the most useful support for you right now  

 

Are you looking for more resources and support?

You’re in the right spot. 

If you’re looking to learn more through reading and viewing, so are we, and we’re updating our recommendations .Thinking of making your own alcohol-free drinks? Have a look at these recommendations  

Read our helpful resources
Alcohol free recipes from our followers

If you want to know what you stand to gain from quitting or changing your drinking, this list is worth book marking 

What Happens When You Stop Drinking Alcohol?
Changes in our bodies when we quit alcohol after 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and 12 months

Did you know that we have a community of folks who share their personal stories?

We are part of a community of people from all walks of life looking to find a balance that works for them. You can meet them, and hear their stories on our blog  

Do you have a story to share?  

If you’ve changed your lifestyle and removed or reduced alcohol in your life too, we’d love to hear from you. Find out more here. 

You don’t have to go it alone when you’re changing your relationship with alcohol. Hello Sunday Morning is happy to keep you company if you decide to quit alcohol or make changes to your life.  

We appreciate your support 

The team at Hello Sunday Morning genuinely appreciates your support. With over 105k downloads to Daybreak and nearly one hundred thousand newsletter subscribers we love hearing from you and we particularly appreciate your generous support and donations to help even more people and provide vital help to those who need it most.

If you would like to find out more, please click here. 

As I wrote this, I am 389 alcohol-free (second time round), I did 402 days AF in 2018 then decided I could moderate. 

How wrong was I…? lol 

My love of alcohol started very young, I had my first big drinking session at 13 years old and blacked out first time, you would think that would have turned me off, and I so wish this was the case. But alas no, I would become one hell of a wild party girl who despite having children very young (pregnancies and young children were the only time I did not drink) I would always be known as the life of the party. 

I was able to balance family life and career, but geez… I could party, I would black out regularly not even knowing how I got home or what I did. 

When I think back, I am amazed that I am still here, I put myself in the most dangerous situations on so many occasions. 

My 20s and 30s revolved around parenting, career, and drinking. When I separated, I had every second weekend free where I kept my party lifestyle going strong. Days off work due to hangovers were the norm as was blacking out and having major anxiety due to embarrassing myself. This is how I functioned for many, many years. 

Fast forward to 2017, I was in my late forties, I had 2 grown up children, 4 beautiful grandchildren and my teenage daughter from my second marriage. I was managing a childcare centre and living life telling myself my drinking was normal and that I did not have a problem. 

My son, who was 25 at the time, along with his family, were living with me and my teenage daughter in a regional town in QLD. One day, I had been at the rugby union with a friend where the alcohol was free, I got dropped off home very merry and joined my son in some more drinks. I do not remember much after this until I heard sirens behind us, that’s when I became present again. It was late, and my son was driving, he only had a learner licence at the time, we stopped, got out and both blew high range. We were placed in separate police cars (due to our toxification levels, we were both carrying on like idiots) and taken to the local watch house where we were placed in separate cells for the night. 

When we were woken up by the police in the morning, they reminded us of our arrest details, and we were given our court dates. I was then suspended from driving, effective immediately. No surprise there after a reading of nearly legally dead… The shame, humiliation, let alone the hangover from hell. We were both put into the back of the paddy wagon and were driven home to our distressed family. My teenage daughter was disgusted with me and immediately went to a friend’s place for a few days. I went to bed where I stayed for the next 24 hours, never wanting to get up.  

My shame and remorse are still with me to this day,
but I am slowly forgiving myself.

I lost my licence for 14 months and was fined $2000. I was spared a conviction as this was the first time I had been in any kind of trouble – a conviction would have lost me my job. I was grateful to the judge for this.  

I could not talk about it without crying for nearly a year. My shame and remorse are still with me to this day, but I am slowly forgiving myself. 

The week after the arrest, I attended an AA meeting where there were only three of us. They were studying the Big Book, and this was not for me. I would start my days, for the next 10 months, telling myself that I will not drink tonight but would end up heading (walking) to the bottle shop on my way home. The mind games were ongoing and exhausting. 

I came across Sexy Sobriety on Facebook and asked my sister to buy me the book titled A Happier Hour by Rebecca Weller for my birthday. This book changed my life, it was like reading my own story. This book gave me the resources to set a date and finally commit to having a break from the drink, my plan was to stop for 3 months.  

I downloaded the app, Daybreak which has been one of my most used tools in my alcohol free (AF) journey. I read heaps of books and after getting to three months I decided to keep going. My health improved dramatically (I think all the walking also helped) to the point where I did not need medication for high blood pressure anymore. I felt amazing, I changed my career, my daughter forgave me, and life was pretty good. 

I was so in the mindset of: ‘I will never drink again’ then BOOM!. After 400 days, out of nowhere, my mind changed to: ‘I am going to drink again, and I can surely – after this long moderate, not lose the plot’. I did moderate for a few months but then I was slowly ending up blacking out and having benders again. The difference this time was that the hangovers were so much worse than last time. I was getting extremely intoxicated on a minimal amount of alcohol, my body was rejecting the poison big time.

My mindset changed from:
‘I will never drink again
to: ‘I am going to drink again, and I can surely –
after this long moderate, not lose the plot’.
How wrong was I?

I knew that I needed to stop. I had one attempt, where I stopped for 21 days but it did not stick, it was so hard to start at day 1 again.  

Last year I set my start date as the 1st of February but because of being so hungover on the 31st of January, that became my day 1. I got back on Daybreak and started doing the work to change my mindset again. 

I love living life AF, I have my health back again and I know today that I will not drink. I am sharing part of my story to help my healing as well as to let others know it is possible to change your relationship with alcohol. 

Love to all, 

Shell xx 

Shell is a banker in the finance industry. She is on a spiritual journey in helping herself and others
to find peace by working through their addictions. Shell loves spending time at the beach reading a good book.
Her 4 grandbabies bring great joy to her world.

Read more Personal Stories

BROWSE HERE

March 8th is International Women’s Day, a day to salute the trailblazers and everyday heroes who bring about change in our community.

We’re taking a moment to applaud and support every woman who has tackled personal or public challenges with alcohol. Committing to creating a healthy lifestyle for yourself, and your family is so worth celebrating. Wherever you are on your journey from being sober curious, reassessing alcohol in your life, or choosing to abstain, we’re constantly inspired by you and your commitment to make changes.

Hello Sunday Morning also sends our admiration out to women across Australia advocating for and contributing to the conversation around alcohol consumption. 

We’d like you to meet these five women who inspire us through advocacy for healthier relationships with alcohol:

Dr Nicole Lee

Specialist alcohol and drug consultant, Adjunct Professor and Hello Sunday Morning Clinical Governance Board member 

Nicole is the founder and CEO of 360Edge, a specialist alcohol and other-drug consultancy, and Adjunct Professor at the National Drug Research Institute Curtin University. She also chairs the Clinical Governance Board Committee of Hello Sunday Morning. 

Nicole is a member of the Australian National Council on Alcohol and other Drugs, Australia’s key expert advisory council to the Australian Government on drugs, and the board of the Australian drug checking service, The Loop Australia. She’s internationally known for her impactful 30 years of expertise in research, design and implementation of alcohol and other drug policy and practice responses. 

Not only that, Nicole’s also a consultant psychologist and Fellow of the Australian Association for Cognitive and Behaviour Therapy, contributing to research that informs decision making.

Jill Stark

Author, mental health advocate and public commentator on anxiety and quitting drinking  

Jill Stark’s hard-won lessons from a life-long struggle with anxiety offer hope and connection to anyone doing it tough. Jill’s book ‘When You’re Not OK‘ and her blog documents her pathways from worrier to warrior, highlighting the realities and victories she experienced in giving up alcohol and encouraging others to do so. You can read Jill’s story here.

Shanna Whan

CEO and founder, Sober in the Country 

Countless people in regional areas have been encouraged to take a look at their relationship with alcohol thanks to the efforts of Shanna Whan, Australian of the Year Local Hero for 2022. After struggling with alcohol addiction, Shanna founded grassroots charity, Sober in the Country to help others on a similar path.

Yumi Stynes

Podcast host, author, TV and radio presenter 

Yumi Stynes is an Australian television and radio presenter, podcaster and author living in Sydney. She is the co-host of KIIS FM’s 3PM Pick-Up radio show and presenter of the ABC Radio podcast Ladies, We Need to Talk about female health and sexuality. Yumi regularly shares her story about her changing relationship with alcohol. 

Dominique Robert-Hendren

Dominique Robert-Hendren is a leader in mental health strategy and innovation. With her background as the National Mental Health Programs and Services Director for Australia’s largest private health care organisation, Dominique was pivotal in leading innovative models of care, establishing digital telehealth services and award winning mental health programs. 

In recent times she has been a respected member of the COVID-19 Response and Restart Team, overseeing Employee Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategic Framework for Frontline Workers and Executive Leaders. 

In her role as a Mental Health Executive for Hello Sunday Morning, Dominique heads the digital health innovation strategy, research and new models of care. She is also Chief Clinical Psychologist and a psychology board-approved supervisor. Dominique’s expertise has been instrumental in producing vital evidence-based resources for the community at large like:

My sober toolbox

Mental Health Month
Calendar of Care

Coping with Pandemic Fatigue

Australian women, everywhere, inspiring change

Women like Lucy Bloom (Author and motivational speaker), Andy Quin (co-founder of ETCH Sparkling), and Kerrie Atherton have given other’s courage to make changes as well.

Every week on our social media we share a Hero of the Week. 

Many are women who have made the decision to change their relationship with alcohol, and graciously share their struggles and wins along the way. Through Hero of the Week stories, others can discover what they stand to gain through reassessing, reducing, or quitting drinking.  

Check out more stories here  and don’t forget to share a message of support to a woman you admire this week too! 

Let’s hear it for the girls and the collective social, economic, cultural, health and political achievements that women have made possible across the world.

Many aspire, few attain – but it’s never too late to change

Most people give up their new year’s resolution within the first month of the year. This is not a surprise for us in 2022, given the rocky start we’ve had and how painfully similar to our last two years it has been. Life is already full of surprises even without a pandemic. 

As good as our intentions may be, our goals and resolutions can turn against us if we align them too close to our own self-worth. Unfortunately failure and relapse are often viewed as negative. And when our first attempt to make positive change in our life is met with a defeat, our tendencies are often to give in to alcohol and give up our goals completely.

Before throwing in the towel to sobriety, why not give your goals a second chance? Perhaps changing your mindset on failure and relapses, or coming up with new strategies and learning to forgive yourself, will help you get back on track.

Changing your perspective on failure

According to Amy C. Edmondson at Harvard Business Review on  Strategies for learning from failures, from a young age, we are conditioned to believe that admitting failure means to take the blame. Amy believes that the link between fail and fault is closely related in most business and culture. Of course a project failure and a relapse are two different things. We could see, however, that the mindset of seeing failure and dealing with our slip-ups are similar, when it comes to changing our relationship with alcohol.

Certain words can have a stigma around them and ‘fail’ is no doubt one of them. It might take a while for our society and culture to shift their negative projection around failure, but we can start viewing it as it is: a learning curve.

Make good use of our learning curve

As uncomfortable as it is, revisiting our relapses can give us a lot of insight around our drinking habits that we would overlook if we hadn’t experienced the slip-up. So take some time to revisit your journey so far, even if it was only a few sober days in a row. Write down things that work and don’t work. Where possible, doing it with someone with whom you feel safe, and trust, could help give a fair perspective in both giving honest feedback on areas to improve and in exposing some unhelpful self-critics. 

Let’s get back into the saddle

Once reflection on recent lapses is done, you can now move towards getting back on track with your New Year’s resolutions. Here are some ways to get back up and running again:

  • Acknowledge that changing is hard Any type of change towards a positive shift is difficult. To borrow Fauja Singh’s quote: ‘Anything worth doing is going to be difficult’. Take a deep breath and acknowledge the difficulties that come with changing, but also commend yourself for taking a brave step into a healthier lifestyle. If you find quitting drinking is challenging, you are not alone. Join a sobriety group on Facebook or an anonymous platform such as our Daybreak app.

 

  • Revisit your commitment and resolution It’s time to be honest with your own resolution. Reassess your commitment and your readiness to change, is your goal unrealistic? Is the time frame reasonable? Some helpful approaches for re-setting goals are: S.M.A.R.T (to keep you accountable), Reach goal (goal that moves and motivates you) and H.A.R.D goal (mindset focus)

 

  • Dedicate time Most goals fail because there is not enough time dedicated to them. Set up a schedule to do whatever is needed in making sure your goal is on track – whether taking some time to plan the weekends without alcohol, journaling progresses and key learnings, researching for replacement behaviours or simply celebrating little wins.

 

  • Be prepared for what you will lose along the way When you decide to give up alcohol, there will be experiences and connections you will miss out on as a result of that – like the annual wine tasting trip traditions with friends, or the invites to check out the latest hip underground clubs and bars. When these are expected and you come to terms with it, the loss – although it is still hard, won’t catch you by surprise. After you’ve considered the cost and made peace, shift your focus toward what you will gain from changing your relationship with alcohol. Read more about sitting with the grief of change.

 

  • Be patient with yourself  Osher Günsberg reflected on his sobriety journey, ‘I haven’t had a drink since March, 14th 2010. And this is what I would tell anybody; it truly, really is: a day at a time. Sometimes, half a day at a time. Sometimes, an hour at a time, and sometimes, five minutes at a time.’  Changing your relationship with alcohol will take time, but you are making the right steps already. Be patient with your progress.

 

  • Plan for a rainy day  Here is where you can apply those key learnings from setbacks. Understanding your weaknesses through the recent relapse and applying the learnings will help you prepare for some difficult days ahead. 

‘Today is not over yet ’ – Alexandra Franzen

No matter how bad or messy the start is, it’s never too late to change how the rest of our day will be like. What we love about this quote by Alexandra Franzen is that it works for any time of the day. Whether it is 10 am or at 11.59 pm, today is not over and it’s not too late to make that change. 

And this year is certainly far from over!

At Hello Sunday morning, we recognise there are many layers of complexity when it comes to alcohol dependency. If you have been drinking alcohol heavily for a long period of time, you should contact your GP to speak about your plan to quit drinking. You should also seek immediate medical attention if you are already experiencing any of the following symptoms.

When you decide to quit alcohol, there are a lot of aspects of your life that can be affected by these changes. After all, it is a lifestyle alteration. You may find some challenges within your circle of relationships, when making choices about activities to undertake or even when setting your boundaries with low-alcohol beverages and food that contains alcohol. In this part of the FAQs series we cover some of the day-to-day challenges and questions that often come up within the early stages of your decision to make changes to your drinking habits.

Table of Contents

How to manage any existing relationships and friendships that have traditionally revolved around alcohol.

People often hesitate to make a change in their drinking habits, scared of losing or altering friendships and relationships. This is understandable, after all, our connections and our community are what give us a sense of belonging. It is important to acknowledge your feelings of fear. However, it does not mean that you should expect these relationships to deteriorate. Perhaps using these suggestions might help manage your relationships:

  • Be direct – it is a good idea to explain the reasoning behind your decision to change your drinking habits and the changes that you might be planning (e.g. ‘I’m going to have three alcohol-free days a week’, ‘I’m going to take a break from alcohol for 3 months’). Communicate how your partner and friends can be supportive to you.
  • Check in – plan a follow-up conversation with your loved ones. As with the initial conversation, provide a safe space for your friends to express how they feel so far. 
  • Brainstorm alternative activities – while you won’t be doing date night with happy hour anymore, there are other activities that you and your partner can enjoy – why not brainstorm together? How about cooking or dancing classes, or make a new tradition of a Sunday morning hike, choosing new locations to try each week?

At the end of the day, communicate to your loved ones that it is not about their relationship with you, but rather your own relationship with alcohol. 

Read more in detail about these tips.

What are replacement behaviours?

A replacement behaviour is essentially a behaviour that replaces your usual habit. In the case of a drinking habit, using a replacement behaviour is the act of doing something else to stop your own personal pattern of drinking. For example, instead of drinking alcohol at 5 pm after work, or when the kids are out of the house, a replacement behaviour would be setting up an activity to do at that particular time, instead of your usual drinking habit. It could be doing a workout or a run, cooking a nice meal for dinner, or calling a friend. 

See some tips for replacement behaviours here.

How much alcohol is left in a cooked meal?

The ethanol boiling point is at 78.37° Celsius. There are a few opinions around the amount of alcohol left during cooking. For instance, according to this standard from the USDA (scroll through page 14), the amount of alcohol cooked out at the boiling point for 15 mins with a stirring method, is 75%. The remaining amount will then continue to decrease to 5% if stirred for another 2.5 hours. Other opinions state that many factors could contribute to alcohol retention. Such as the diameter of the pan, ingredients added and cooking technique – whether it is stirred, simmered, covered or uncovered, could affect the retention of the alcohol. In short, there is no ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to whether or not all the alcohol burns off during cooking.

If you would like to read more on this topic, see our blog about alcohol and food.

What is de-alcoholisation? Is it really safe to drink zero alcohol beer?

De-alcoholisation is a process to remove alcohol from fermented beverages prior to bottling. It’s a process to make low- to zero alcohol beverages. 

There are a few ways to remove alcohol from beer. Some well-known methods are: through the boiling or heating process, vacuum distillation and using a specialised strain of yeast that stops fermenting once the environment reaches a certain ABV – usually 0.5 ABV which is classified as low alcohol in Food Standard Australia New Zealand guidelines for beverage labelling.

Warning: For some, drinking low- to zero alcohol beverages can still be triggering. Each of our relationships with alcohol is unique. It is important to note what triggers you and what you are ok with. Seek advice from a GP to help determine what would be helpful for you and your specific health needs.

What are the stages in change

If each of our journeys to a healthy relationship with alcohol is unique, what are the stages in personal change? Which stage are you in right now?  Understanding this will help, not only yourself, but also others whom you wish to support in the future.

Pre-contemplation – known as the early stage. When someone is using alcohol and not really wanting to make any changes. In this stage, people often see more ‘pros’ to alcohol use than ‘cons’.

Contemplation – a stage where a person starts to think about change. Perhaps someone has noticed health issues or other negative implications that come with drinking. The ‘pros’ & ‘cons’ are shifting, but there are enough ‘reasons’ to keep drinking, so change doesn’t happen yet. 

Ambivalence – is a crossroads stage. Someone might be aware of the ‘benefits’ of drinking, as well as the ‘costs’. This is where a person will describe really enjoying some of the aspects of drinking but also may be struggling with the negatives of drinking regularly, or in high volumes. This is where they may make the decision about whether to change.

Preparation – a stage where a person has decided to make a change and they are going through the process of getting ready. Sometimes preparation can be so daunting and can cause a person to slip back into ambivalence or contemplation, especially if help isn’t available. This may change a bit later on when there is more support.

Action – is the stage where someone is ready to make a change and has taken action to do so. They have moved through the process of change to get to the point where they are invested in the process. For many, this is an interesting time, as so much can change – they are making changes to their wellbeing, as well as alcohol consumption (e.g. cutting back, AF days, or longer periods of time without alcohol).

Maintenance – for many people, they will have arrived at their ‘ideal’ relationship with alcohol – whether that be total abstinence, a reduction of drinks per week, the institution of regular alcohol–free days, or even a safety plan for ‘risky’ drinking situations. It is called the maintenance phase because, just like with any behavioural change, it does require maintenance.

Read more about stages in reducing alcohol here.

‘I was so ashamed – I had a secret life going on. I was the perfect secretive drinker. No-one seemed to approach me, and I wish they had. I would have appreciated that.’

Leonie

Talking to a family member, friend, or colleague about their relationship with alcohol might feel overwhelming or intimidating. It’s understandable that you would be anxious about offending someone, or inflaming a sensitive situation. But if you feel it’s time to start a discussion about the drinking habits of someone you care about, you’re taking a helpful step in supporting them through change. 

According to the Alcohol and Drug Foundation  one in eight Australians has been drinking every day since the pandemic began last year. While the last few years have tested us all, understanding the effects of alcohol and associated risks of constantly drinking, as well as assessing reasons for drinking, is a vital check-in for us all. Talking to someone about their drinking and its risks to their health, and relationships, could bring them a step closer to their decision to ease up or quit altogether.

Getting ready for the conversation 

If you’re impacted by someone’s drinking, or worry about their habits, you might want to read up on how to best assess if they would be open to change, and how to prepare to approach them. 

Helping family & friends

General tips if you are concerned about someone's drinking
Read more

This kind of talk takes courage.

It might be difficult for you to express how you’re feeling or your concerns when you’re starting the conversation. Before you start it’s helpful to pick your moment and the location. 

Our Hello Sunday Morning health coaches advise that it’s important to offer a non-judgemental listening ear to enable them to talk about their experiences, how they’re feeling and if they feel ready for change. This kind of talk is best when they feel calm, safe and are not under the influence of alcohol. 

Leonie’s desire to change her relationship with alcohol became stronger when she connected with a friend who provided her with a safe and respectful space to talk through her experiences. 

‘She held that space for me and gave me the chance to tell my story. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her.’

Listening, and helping your friend or family member to recognise risky habits in their relationship with alcohol can help loved ones make powerful progress.   But it often starts with reaching out and talking first.

Recognising and breaking toxic cycle


One interesting thing to consider when looking at human behaviour is the idea of the vicious or virtuous cycle. Certain things in our life roll over onto others, and before long we find ourselves in either a positive or negative feedback loop.How can you recognise this cycle?

Before you have the talk:

  • Prepare for the chat.  Educate yourself – arm yourself with facts about possible risks and triggers. Knowing key alcohol facts and the short-term and long-term risks might be useful in presenting your concerns. Review and reflect on any observations or experiences you have encountered. Evaluate your own behaviours and attitudes about alcohol. Be aware of the Stages In Change  which might help you to understand where they are at, and assist in setting expectations about the talk.
  • Check-in on their circumstance. Assess and understand their situation. There are many reasons why a person may have started to drink excessively, such as dealing with sadness, stress or mental illness impacts.  
  • Make it a safe and open talk about alcohol. Make it a non-judgemental conversation and ask open-ended questions. Think about your body language and tone of voice. Even if you do not understand your friend’s point of view, or reasons for drinking, try to be understanding. Take emotion out of your conversation and avoid being confrontational. Be ready to listen and be prepared to be patient. 
  • Discuss perceptions of alcohol. Encourage your friend or family member to talk about their thoughts on alcohol and help them to process their own relationship with alcohol.
  • Refer to professional help. It’s important that while we love and care for them, we aren’t necessarily equipped to help them. 
  • Ask how you can support your friend / family member’s alcohol consumption. Offer to be a trusted person they can check-in or socialise with while they make changes.  

 

There’s no right way to start the conversation, but make sure you listen to your friend, be thoughtful and genuine. These talking tips may help:

‘I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling tired lately, are you OK?’

‘I know you’ve gone through a difficult time lately; I just want to see how you are holding up and if you have ways to cope?’

‘I want to talk about something that’s been worrying me recently, is there a good time we can chat?’

It takes strength to have these conversations, but there are many positive flow-on effects and you may build a stronger relationship with someone special. 

 

Calling on professional support 

Our Hello Sunday Morning health coaches remind us that abstaining or moderating takes commitment and support from professionals, as well as loved ones. 

You may remember Sarah’s story.  Sarah wanted to quit drinking to rebuild a relationship with herself. As well as seeking support from friends, she turned to the Daybreak app to share with others facing similar challenges.

Alcohol and Shame


‘It is a good idea to break down your shame by discussing it with a professional, such as a counsellor or psychologist if you feel comfortable doing so. This will assist you to better understand your relationship with alcohol, its triggers, and to identify ways to address them.’

If you’re looking for focussed help to chat with someone about their risky relationship with alcohol, you may find the following support helpful: 

Health Direct 

Family Drug Support Australia 

 

Small changes start with conversations that show you care.

Many people are initially not interested in changing the way they drink. It takes time, adjustment, and support.

“Let me buy you a drink.”

“What are you drinking? My shout.”

“C’mon just one drink, it’s not going to make a difference.”

What do you say when other’s offer you a drink in social situations? 

Are you worried about feeling in control of the conversation as you make changes to your drinking habits?

While you don’t owe anyone an explanation about your reason for not drinking, having a set of responses ready to go can make all the difference in backing yourself and feeling confident.

Being prepared for questions ultimately gives you power over your decision, and minimises any feelings of anxiousness you may be working through. Workshopping a series of short scripts to communicate to friends and strangers that you aren’t drinking could help these questions become a non-issue.

If you’re anxious about how a conversation might escalate, preparing responses in advance for all sorts of social situations can be extremely empowering. It enables you to think through each scenario ahead of time and rehearse what you’ll say. It also helps you stay focussed on your goal and feel better about resisting pressure to accept a drink.

If you’re still feeling social anxiety without alcohol, try matching your prepared responses with visualisation strategies and soothing exercises for self-care. Check out Hello Sunday Morning’s consulting psychologist, Briony Leo’s encouraging tips in our recent Hello Sunday Morning Tips and Hacks series.

At the end of the day, any strategy before you step into a room could help ease any anxiety in a conversation, and support you in articulating your choices.

Let’s try these common scenarios: 

Person offers: Would you like a drink? Let me buy you a drink? 

My response:

  • No, thank you, I’m not drinking tonight 
  • I’m good – thanks anyway
  • No thanks – I’m taking a break from drinking
  • No thanks – I’m tonight’s designated driver
  • Thanks, that’s OK, I don’t drink. What else do you have?  Do you have soda water? 
  • No thanks, I’ve got an early start tomorrow / have to work / have an early appointment. 

 

Person persists: They’re not taking ‘no’ for an answer

My response:

  • No, thank you, I’m not drinking tonight 
  • I’m just not drinking right now 
  • No, thanks, I don’t want to
  • No thanks, I’m on a health kick right now 
  • Thanks, but I took a break from alcohol and really liked the difference 
  • I decided to make some changes in my life and alcohol was one of them. Thanks for your offer though  
  • I really appreciate the offer, I’m cutting back (or not drinking) right now 

(to focus on my health / to take care of myself) and I’d really appreciate it if you’d help me out.

 

Person continues to persist: Asks you more in-depth questions, continues to push the point, or even buys you a drink and ignores your response. 

  • I really appreciate you offering, but honestly, I feel much better when I’m not drinking 
  • I’ve realised I’m much happier without a drink, but thanks for the offer 
  • I’ve had some health effects from drinking, so I’m really focussing on taking care of myself right now
  • Please don’t let my decision stop you from having a drink, I’m honestly happy hanging out with my water / soda / soft drink. 

Person suggests meeting up for a drink

My response:

  • I’d love to catch up, but I’m not drinking right now
  • I’d love to catch up, but as I’m not drinking right now, can we meet for a coffee instead?
  • It would be great to see you, but I’m having a break from alcohol. How about we meet for a walk / go to a movie / head out for brunch instead?


Knowing your ‘no’ and being sure of yourself 

The Hello Sunday Morning team have compiled a host of other suggestions too.

While every person’s experience with alcohol and approaching sobriety can be different, knowing your ‘no’ and having resistance strategies will help you relax into the social events you may have been previously dreading.

And, in addition to the words we bring to a conversation, our energy and focus can also make a difference:

  • Deliver your response in a clear, firm, and friendly way
  • Avoid vague answers or long-winded explanations that you feel like you can’t get away from
  • Rehearsing your words in a positive way, or giving questions minimal time, can be just as effective. “No, thank you, I’m not drinking tonight” can be short, sweet and to the point. 

Perhaps your confidence and surety in delivering these responses could also inspire someone else. You might find yourself having a conversation with someone who is sober curious and keen to learn from you in making their own changes.

Have you had a difficult conversation that you managed to move through with a great response and outcome? We’d love to learn what worked for you. 

If you’re looking for company while you are learning to message that you’re moderating your drinking, The Daybreak app’s Community Support is filled with supportive suggestions and online discussions that might be useful too. 

It doesn’t feel like long ago that I struggled to go just one week without alcohol. So it’s hard to believe that it’s now been two years without a drink. My original goal was to stop drinking for a year. However, after seeing how much my life changed in that year, I decided to stick with the sober life. I haven’t decided that I will never drink again but the longer I stay sober, the more reasons I find to want to stay sober.

Giving up a twenty-year binge-drinking habit has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The new lifestyle still presents challenges, although it has proven that sometimes the hardest things to do are often the most rewarding.

Last year was tough. I consciously didn’t date anyone all year. I knew it was going to take at least twelve months to adjust to an alcohol-free life and to feel comfortable enough within my new sober skin to go on a first date. I also avoided as many social events as possible. Just the thought of going to a pub or bar, sober, made me feel uncomfortable. A few months into the year I came to the realisation that I not only had social anxiety but most likely always did have, and had been self-medicating with alcohol.

A few months into the sober life I got invited to a party. I knew I had to go because it was for a good friend and I couldn’t avoid parties for the rest of my life. I was dreading the thought of going. I constantly pictured myself at the party being socially awkward. I would keep coming up with excuses in my head of how I could get out of going. However, I knew that to move forward I would have to get over these hurdles. As it turns out, the party wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, nor were the next few parties after that. It’s like anything I guess, the more you do something the easier it becomes. Which is what happened after the first sober date; once I’d jumped that first dreaded hurdle it became easier and easier.

Slowly, I would start to see the benefits of being the sober one. Sure, maybe I wasn’t as loud, or cracking as many jokes, as the people drinking but at least at the end of the night I was coming home with money in my wallet and a clear head. It was a nice change to be able to remember everything that happened on a night out. The biggest benefit was saying goodbye to hangovers. Waking up fresh on the weekends has opened up a whole new world of opportunities. This simple pleasure was something that I’d not really experienced many times before. In my first (and last) blog ‘My twenty-year love-hate relationship with alcohol’, I calculated that I’d roughly wasted three and a half years of my life laying on a couch watching TV, hungover. With hangovers now out of my life, I’ve gained at least one night a week (from not drinking) and one full day (from no hangovers). I now find I have time to do things that I’ve wanted to do for years but never thought I had the time or money.

Another huge benefit of saying goodbye to booze is the amount of money you save. Also, the amount of energy you find you really have. Last year I discovered that with all the extra time, money and energy I had, I could finally start living the life that alcohol was holding me back from living. My thirst for alcohol became a thirst for knowledge. I took a short course in photography, which was something I’d always been interested in. I enjoyed it so much that I ended up doing two more similar courses. I also started up at a guitar-building school and built a bass guitar as well as rebuilding an old bass guitar that I had. I started studying Spanish. Learning another language was always on my bucket list. When alcohol was in my life, the thought of studying anything after work was just not an option. I couldn’t think of anything worse back then. Probably because I spent most of the week tired and recovering from the weekend. When I was drinking I would come home from work exhausted and quite often fall asleep on the couch before dinner. These days, most evenings I feel like doing something productive.

Realising how much more time I had on my hands got me thinking how I could get more hours out of a week to do things I wanted to do. So I slowly cut back on TV, to a point where I don’t really watch any now. I was watching probably three hours a night and maybe ten hours a day on a weekend, if I was really hungover. That’s up to thirty-five hours a week I’m getting back. So now I feel like I’m making up for some of that time I wasted with all those hangovers. I cut back on social media as well. Cutting out roughly an hour a day gives me another seven hours per week.

I love to travel. A big dream of mine was to do a big trip around the world. So now with a clear head, I put together a plan to make it happen. Obviously giving up partying was a huge saving but it also got me thinking of other ways to save money. As the year went on I could almost feel the brain cells grow back and actually started to feel smarter. Well, I was at least thinking a hell of a lot clearer anyway. Even the fact that I’m now writing blogs. The old me would have laughed at the idea of writing. The old me couldn’t have been bothered. My memory has never been great but I think that has improved a bit as well.

So by the end of 2017, after a year of planning and saving hard, I was off on my dream holiday. I travelled to twenty countries over six and a half months and ticked off a bunch of things from the bucket list. Peru and the Inca Trail were at the top of my bucket list. I got to spend seven weeks in Peru and did the Inca Trail. It was as amazing as I hoped it would be. I swam with sharks on the Belize Barrier Reef and snorkeled with a manatee. I went caving in some beautiful caves in Cuba, Belize, and Vietnam. I went to a few NBA games in Canada and the US and went to an NHL game. I went on the biggest zip line in the southern hemisphere, in Costa Rica, Superman style. In Nicaragua I saw flowing lava in a volcano, I climbed volcanos and even boarded down one. I met hundreds of people and made new friends all over the globe.

Living that dream was the best thing I’ve ever done. There is no doubt that it was better than a bunch of nights out at my local pub. That was another one of my reasons for wanting to stop drinking. I figured that I had been drunk so many times and had so many nights out but there were so many countries out there waiting to be explored. So why would I want to live the repetitious life of getting drunk every weekend when that money could be getting spent on something much more rewarding.

I think one appeal of alcohol is that it’s a quick solution to make you feel good. At least, that’s what we think. Is it really making you feel good though? If you are a heavy drinker like I was, there was only really a window of maybe a few hours that you felt good and happy before things started to get blurry and memory loss kicked in. For that few hours of feeling good, I would have to pay. Not just financially but for the next few days whilst I recovered. They say the older you get the worse the hangovers get. I partially agree with that. In my case, the hangovers were not necessarily getting worse but just lasting a lot longer. I don’t believe that it was just because I was getting older though. I think it was because the older I got the more alcohol I could handle and the longer I could drink for. As an adolescent, I maybe drank for two to six hours before vomiting or passing out. As I got older, I practically trained myself to be able to drink all through the day and night. So if your drinking sessions are three to four times longer than when you started out drinking, it makes sense that the hangovers are going to last three to four times longer.

So I eventually realised the hangovers that lasted for days were just not worth the one night (a few hours) of fun. In fact, the nights were no longer even really fun anymore. Rollercoasters are great fun but I imagine if you sat on one for twenty years, the novelty would probably wear off. Not only was drinking no longer as fun as it used to be but it was slowly becoming depressing. I felt like I was walking through a really long tunnel, slowly walking away from the light (the fun times) and into the darkness.

I think a lot of people are under the misconception that a night out with friends was fun because they were drunk. Maybe the night out was fun because you enjoy the company of your friends and they make you laugh. I don’t miss the taste of alcohol or the action of drinking. I do miss hanging out and having a laugh with friends though. It’s just unfortunate that having nights out in our culture, and most Western cultures, usually involves alcohol.

When I went back to work after travelling for the first half of the year, there was a new guy at work. He’s one of the most stereotypical Australians I’ve ever met. A tradie who’s life revolves around football, cricket, gambling, and beer. When he found out I didn’t drink, it was as if I’d just told him I was an alien or something. ‘What’s wrong with ya!?’ he said, in absolute shock. That reaction really annoyed me. I don’t think it was necessarily him I was annoyed at though. I was more annoyed because I felt that statement summed up the mentality of so many Australians. Because the vast majority of Aussies drink, they seem to think there must be something wrong with anyone that doesn’t. Coming home and having to deal with that attitude again was kind of unwelcoming.

People get stuck in loops. If you have a big night every weekend you usually feel pretty run down for a few days. Later in the week, you might feel like you need to get drunk to pick you up again. I think that in itself is a misconception though. Does it really make us feel that good? We might tell ourselves that it makes us feel good because we’ve had so many fun nights with alcohol. But really, there’s nothing fun about drinking alone and it doesn’t really make you feel good either. In fact, if you’re drinking alone, it’s probably making you feel more alone. Some people say they like a drink because it helps them relax. Is it the alcohol making you relaxed though, or the fact that you’re no longer at work and now sitting at home with your feet up. Ask yourself: Why do I drink? Question your relationship with alcohol. Is it really making you happier? I would actually love to hear all your answers.

Other negative loops can be eating too much and having weight issues. I’ve never really been overweight but I can relate to overweight people. Eating fatty or sugary foods is a way to momentarily feel good but then you may have the remorse when you start to put on weight. You might start to get down because of how you look, so you eat something that tastes good to make you feel better again. It’s a snowball effect. Drinking is the same. I enjoyed getting drunk (in the early days anyway) but then would have regrets about wasting money and only having myself to blame for feeling like rubbish for days after. It starts to really beat you down after so many years.

In my last year of drinking, that metaphorical tunnel was getting dark. To my surprise, it continued to get darker after I stopped drinking. Eventually, I stopped, I turned around. Now I’m heading back towards the light end and into a much happier and brighter future. I’m slowly becoming stronger, healthier and wealthier. I now feel like I’m stuck in a positive loop. The healthier I become physically, the healthier I become mentally, so I want to become stronger and healthier physically etc. At thirty-eight years old the thought of turning forty was really getting me down. Not now though; now I’m genuinely excited to see what my future holds and no longer worried about being in my forties.

It’s probably no real big surprise that one of the biggest benefits of getting rid of binge drinking from your life, is the health benefit. I had suffered from headaches and poor digestion as long as I can remember. Now for the first time in my life, my body is functioning the way it should be and coincidentally, no more headaches! For decades I had tried to work out what was causing the headaches. I now believe they were caused by digestive issues which were most likely linked to dehydration from binge drinking. The last few years I was drinking, I also noticed my legs would ache a lot. Sometimes to the point that I couldn’t sleep because my legs were so restless and aching so much. I had read that this could be caused by being dehydrated.

Which made sense, considering I was almost always in a state of dehydration. When I was drinking, I would constantly need water at hand, even all through the week. I was always thirsty. About six months after giving up alcohol, I started to notice that I could survive without having a water bottle constantly attached to my hand. About six to twelve months later, I started to notice my legs weren’t aching as much. There were a couple of times in the years leading up to me giving up alcohol that I had a month off drinking. When my legs still ached after a month sober, I decided that it must have been just from work and because I was getting old. Even though I didn’t think it was quite right to feel like that before I’d even turned forty. As it turns out, it takes longer than one month for your body to fully recover from twenty years of abuse. So, my advice to anyone looking to give up drinking is, don’t give up after a month because you haven’t noticed enough changes. It’s now been two years for me and I’m still discovering new benefits. I’ve never been diagnosed with anxiety but I definitely am an overthinker and occasionally get anxious about things. For example, I would overthink everything I posted on social media. I probably deleted fifty percent of things I posted because I would sit there overthinking what I had posted and wondering what people would think. In the last year, I think I’ve only deleted maybe one or two posts. So obviously my mental health is in a much better place as well.

They say ‘you are what you eat’. I now know what they mean by that. Although, I think the saying should be, ‘you are what you consume’. It’s amazing how much your mental and physical health changes when you stop fueling your body with rubbish and start filling it with decent fuel.

A quick recap of the last two years:

  • Made peace with who I really am.
  • Randomly got offered (and accepted) a great job.
  • Travelled the world for six and a half months.
  • Swam with sharks.
  • Hiked the Inca Trail.
  • Climbed a volcano.
  • Lowered my anxiety levels.
  • Became healthier and stronger both physically and mentally.
  • For the first time in thirteen years, got involved in a serious relationship.

Far too many amazing life-changing events to just be a coincidence that they happened when I stopped drinking. Having said that, I did go through some tough times as I adjusted to a life without alcohol. My tip for anyone considering going down the long and rough road to a sober life (I learned this on my travelling. It’s a bit of a cliche but it’s true): Sometimes the longest and bumpiest roads, lead to the best places.

Anonymous

“A world where confidence and identity aren’t measured in standard servings …”

This is a line from our organisational mission at Hello Sunday Morning. It’s a clever way of bringing a serious issue around Australian drinking cultures to light. How many people do you know that drink to boost confidence or would consider drinking as part of their identity? It’s troubling to me; not the drinking, but the ‘how’ and ‘why’ we drink.

I was never a big drinker. I would never dream of pressuring anyone into drinking and was completely comfortable to say ‘no’ if I felt pressured myself. This was simply my ‘normal’ – it was never something I reflected on. Despite this, working at Hello Sunday Morning has taught me so many things about our drinking cultures. This is exactly why I believe each and every one of us has something to learn and reflect on, whether we think we do or not.

I wanted to take the opportunity to outline a few of the key things I’ve learnt as someone who truly thought I had nothing to learn.

1. It is very hard to detach yourself from a cultural norm, especially when you don’t even realise you’re accustomed to one.

When I applied for my role at Hello Sunday Morning one year ago, my first thought was, “Oh man, I guess I have to stop drinking if I want to work here.”

Looking back, of course that was my first thought. Of course I was worried that my friends would think I’m a loser for working with a company they perceived to be against drinking. Of course I struggled with the idea of giving it up completely, even though I didn’t drink that much in the first place. I didn’t realise that thoughts like this were exactly why Hello Sunday Morning existed: to empower people to have whatever relationship with alcohol they wanted, as long as it was the best one for them. I now pick up on all the little cues that it’s something deeply embedded in our society. My friends don’t peer pressure at all and seem comfortable with each other’s decisions, yet I still haven’t managed to go out and say no to alcohol without the classic, “Oh, do you have to drive? That sucks.” I find myself getting the pity card a lot, and this would never have bothered me before when I was still attached to the expectation myself. Only now do I notice these subtle hints, and I find myself slightly offended that it’s such an unreasonable thing for me to simply not feel like drinking tonight. I simply ‘must’ be driving.

Having now been exposed to a vast range of people with different relationships to alcohol, from sobriety and moderation, all the way to weekend binge drinking or dependence, I also empathise with the people who do struggle. These extremely subtle lines from people who don’t think they are saying anything wrong can actually affect someone in a much more complex way. My reason for not drinking may have been because I didn’t feel like it, but you never know what someone’s reason might be. There’s a chance it’s not something they want to be reminded of, and in fact, it could be dangerous to their health to make these assumptions. By detaching myself from the current drinking culture, I now never make an assumption as to why someone isn’t drinking. For me, it is as simple as saying, “Okay, cool,” and moving on with the conversation.

2. When it came down to it, I didn’t really have any good reason to drink. Ever.

When I really looked deep into my drinking and thought about why I did it, the reasons just didn’t seem to measure up to what I thought I knew about myself. Before you start thinking I’m going to preach about sobriety, I’m not. I still drink even after this discovery, but I’ve simply changed my reasons for doing it. On the outside, not much is different. But on the inside, I feel like a new person.

I used to drink to fit in with what everyone else was doing, or because I was at a bar, or because it was happy hour so I may as well take advantage of a $5 glass of wine. But now, I drink because it’s a hot day and I love the taste of a Pimms and ginger ale in the sunshine, or because I’m sharing a cocktail jug with a friend who I haven’t seen in a while and I’m enjoying our time together, or because this wood-fired pizza would really suit a Pinot Noir to match. Changing my reasons for drinking has helped me appreciate the rare occasions I do crave a drink, because now I take the time to think about the reason on each occasion, rather than mindlessly follow through.

Having this realisation has also been great for my wallet. Now, I actually ask myself if there is something I’d rather spend $18 on than a cocktail (usually the answer is yes!). Without even realising it, I’ve stopped ‘going with the flow’ of having multiple alcoholic drinks with friends and I’m usually happy with just the one. I would also certainly not recommend keeping up with your friends by drinking non-alcoholic drinks throughout the night – speaking from the experience of a terrible, sugary, ginger beer hangover last New Year’s Day. Turns out that’s a thing!

3. We. Are. All. Different.

Something I never understood before was just how differently everyone reacts to alcohol. Giving life advice on how somebody should change their relationship with alcohol, based on your own personal experience, is not the smartest idea. There has been a lot of change in the world lately and we’ve learnt to become a lot more accepting and supportive of people who are ‘different’. People are opening up about experiences that others might not understand, and we’re learning how to find communities who are similar to us in these ways. Understanding a relationship with alcohol is no different. Some people are more prone to developing an alcohol dependency, while others have no issue with only having a couple of drinks. Some experience horrible symptoms after only one or two drinks, while others could drink all night and wake up with no hangover. Some experience a hangover as a headache and are fine after a late morning lying in bed, while others experience hangovers as a wave of anxiety and depression that could last for days. The list goes on.

However, in saying this, I’m not only trying to bring to light that people who don’t suffer as much should be more respectful and considerate of those who do. This is a two-way street, where those who struggle can learn to understand that not everybody has the same experiences as them. Sometimes alcohol is not a good idea for one person, but for another, it’s not so harmful and choosing to drink moderately isn’t a shameful thing.

So, if you’re like me, and think you’re pretty comfortable with the way you drink, I’d really encourage you to take a moment just to think about it as deeply as you can. Start getting into the habit of asking yourself, “Why am I really having this drink?” every time you go for a sip. Consider if the reason really comes down to your personal choice or a cultural expectation. Let’s measure our lives in smiles, good times, high fives or sunrises, rather than standard servings.

Returning home after a trip around the world has taught me something valuable about self-love. It’s a busy world, and you’ll feel overwhelmed if you don’t know how to communicate with yourself and listen to your needs. Culture means to be connected, but sometimes we lose contact with ourselves when we search for a connection with others. Sometimes you realise that you have never been connected to yourself.

My teenage and young adult years were extremely fun and extremely horrible at the same time. I needed alcohol to feel okay with who I was. Without being drunk I didn’t really allow myself to have fun, and I always wanted to have fun. For me, it wasn’t like I felt great and thought a drink or two could make me feel even better. I felt out of place, lost, unwanted, stiff, and stressed-out unless I was drunk. I couldn’t see the fun in doing things without drinking, and anything was fun if I could only be drunk doing it.

Strangely enough, it wasn’t like I felt great drinking, either. Once I started I only felt content if I had a new drink in my hand or knew that I had access to more. I rarely enjoyed the moment; I only chased getting drunker. And drunker I got, but not happier.

It felt like someone had sucked the soul out of me whenever I woke up from my drunkenness. Days after drinking I still felt like I would never be able to experience joy again.

Why did I allow myself to drink every week if I knew I would feel so rotten for so many days after?

Alcohol was a part of who I believed I was. I didn’t know who I could be without it. I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol. Honestly, I thought that a life without alcohol wasn’t worth living. Partying was all that kept me searching for more. I didn’t even care what party I went to, as long as it meant that I could get drunk.

As a 27-year-old woman who has been through a lot of psychologists, self-help books, podcasts, and treatments, I know that I have a lot of knowledge and inspiration to share with the world. Sharing is good for those who are struggling themselves and also for parents, teachers and other people related to someone who is struggling. It opens up a gateway through which people can relate, understand and then offer help.

This is why I wrote the book, Free The Girl – A story about (finding) self-love,
and share my experiences with feeling like shit. Our minds are scared of change–that’s why it is hard to break habits–but change is just one decision away.

Hot tips for self-love

If alcohol affects you negatively, here are my tips on self-love and how to work with yourself.

To get a grasp of your own relationship with alcohol, ask yourself, ‘Why do I drink?’. If you answer ‘because it tastes good’ then ask yourself if you would choose a non-alcoholic drink if it tasted exactly the same. If not, then why do you drink?

The point of answering this question is to be truthful with yourself. Our brains love to make up excuses for why we do things, but if you ask yourself and really listen in, you often feel the real truth inside.

If you would like to take a break from drinking but it feels like a long stretch, set a reasonable goal. Start with one month if two feels overwhelming. Put the month into a bigger perspective: what is 30 days of your life without alcohol, really? Isn’t it worth giving your body, liver and head a little rest? A month just to check in and see if you feel different, maybe even better than you currently do. Aren’t you curious about how much energy you might get? Wouldn’t it be great to look back and celebrate that you could do it? At the end of the day, it is just a test to see if your life can improve.

Prepare for your time off alcohol and make a list of things to do instead:

  • Write a list of positive outcomes. What will you get out of taking a break? Put your list on your fridge and read it every time things get hard.
  • Check if someone wants to do it with you. In that case, you can hang out together if all your other friends are out clubbing. Or you can both go out with your friends if you feel like you’ll be okay not drinking.
  • What did you use to do when you were younger, before you started drinking? Is there a hobby you have benched?
  • Visit your grandparents or other relatives that you don’t see often
  • Catch up on your reading
  • Use this time to really pamper yourself. Eat healthy food, get outdoors for some natural sunlight, go to bed on time – view it as a spring clean-out!

If you need more inspiration to get this list going, try to put on a seven-minute timer and write down anything that comes to mind that makes you lose track of time or that you simply enjoy doing.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself.

Speak to yourself like you would speak to your child or best friend. Cut yourself some slack! Keep in mind that it is okay to not always feel amazing. Allow your mind and body to just be, and say to yourself that it is okay. Right now, what I feel is what I feel, how I am is how I am – and right now, that is okay. Life is so much more than we can describe it in words. Follow your interests, follow your happiness and don’t limit yourself to what you know!

Maya Kiusalaas | www.mymondaylove.com

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