Australian Drinking Culture Archives

Let’s face it. Parenting is a tough job, and it’s not uncommon to feel the need to unwind after a long day or week. According to a groundbreaking study conducted by La Trobe University researchers last year, young children’s exposure to their parents’ alcohol consumption plays a vital role in shaping their beliefs and attitudes towards alcohol.

The researchers state that while most individuals start drinking in their teenage years, they discovered that perception of adult drinking behaviour is formed when children are at a young age through observational learning. This learning is affected by the physical and social environments where the children live. They also noted that studying the impact of children’s early exposure to alcohol is crucial because it can influence their perceptions of drinking norms, which in turn may forecast heavy and problematic drinking behaviours for some of them as older teenagers.

Strategies for Positive Role Modeling as a Parent

Fortunately, there are things you can do to be a positive role model for your children when it comes to alcohol.

Many parents in the Hello Sunday Morning community have shared their concerns about their drinking habits impacting their ability to be present for their children’s milestones and special moments. Some have focused on resetting their drinking habits to counter the weekend hangovers that make family care more challenging.

Here are some tips to consider:

Be aware of your own drinking behaviour and the example you are setting. Consider reducing your alcohol intake or abstaining from alcohol altogether if you feel like your behaviour may be sending the wrong message to your children.
Talk openly and honestly with your children, ensuring it is age appropriate, about the risks associated with alcohol and the importance of making responsible choices. Encourage them to ask questions and express their concerns.
Set clear boundaries around alcohol use in your home, such as no drinking under the legal age or no excessive drinking. Enforce these boundaries consistently and communicate the consequences clearly.
Model healthy coping strategies for stress and difficult emotions that do not involve alcohol. Encourage and teach your children how to develop healthy outlets for stress, such as exercise, mindfulness, or spending time with friends and family.

Remember to take the pressure off yourself as a parent. We’re all doing our best and no one is perfect. The key thing is to be aware of the impact our own behaviours have on our children and the importance of modeling responsible drinking behaviour.

By having open and honest conversations with our children about alcohol use and modeling healthy coping strategies for stress and difficult emotions, we can help shape the next generation’s future behaviour in a positive and responsible way.

We’d like to share a story from one of our members.

A very personal and moving story from one of our Hello Sunday Morning’s Kozi Moonlight Adventure participants! In this week’s blog, we sit down with Shea Steinkellner. Shea talks about his own personal journey with alcohol, grief and the pain and challenges of caring for a parent (as an adult) who had alcohol dependencies.

As we are taking a closer look at the impact a loved one’s drinking can have on a family for this week’s blog, we would like to give a heads-up to those who have lost a loved one due to alcohol or who are currently going through it. If this is you, we suggest that maybe you might want to give this blog a miss.

“Janet, your liver is now functioning at 10 per cent. If you continue to drink alcohol, there will be little we can do to help you.”

Whack! At least that’s what my body felt. My mum, however, didn’t flinch. It was as if she hadn’t even heard this brutal summary from her gastroenterologist. I hoped the enormity of this information would eventually sink in, and that Mum would finally see what was so clearly obvious to the rest of us – that she needed to stop drinking.

After we became aware of the seriousness of Mum’s dependency on alcohol, she would do multiple spells in detox and rehab, at various facilities across Melbourne, Australia. Each stint brought fresh hope of finding the solution. Sadly, that hope would fade, as inevitably Mum would resume drinking soon after being discharged. My family and I tried our best to offer support and love. With tears in our eyes, we would plead with her to stop, but at times it felt as if we were talking to a brick wall. The need for alcohol to cope with past trauma was too strong for her.

The constant drinking had a myriad of medical implications on her body. Her work also started to suffer, colleagues noticing changes in Mum’s behaviour, appearance, and performance.

Previously in this job, and throughout her life as an adult and a mother, my mum had been the epitome of hard work. Mum eventually had to stop working due to one particular incident at work. Not long after, we moved Mum into a retirement village, hoping a more community-based environment might improve her mental health and decrease the need for solo drinking. It did the opposite. Her sense of isolation increased, and her mental health deteriorated. After another long hospital admission, Mum’s medical team told us plainly that at the age of just 63, she needed 24-hour care. So, my family and I had to make the heart-breaking decision to move Mum into aged care.

2019 saw the arrival of my daughter, which I thought would have been an incentive for Mum to change her relationship with alcohol. While she had so much love for her only grandchild, it still wasn’t enough. I would take her to visit Mum as much as I could, but it became more from a sense of obligation than love. The years of heartache trying in vain to help Mum had taken their toll. I basically grieved for Mum over these years, going through periods of empathy and understanding, sadness, but also resentment and anger.

Mum's battle with alcohol would give me cause to reflect on my drinking history and my relationship with alcohol.

My wife and I watched Shaun Micallef’s brilliant doco series ‘On the Sauce,’ and it had a profound effect on us. It was the catalyst to start my own “sober curious” journey, sourcing material on this lifestyle from podcasts, books and online, while also starting to try alcohol-free alternatives, such as non-alcoholic beer and mocktails. After successfully doing a couple of sober stints, I decided 2021 would be a booze-free year.

The experiment was a success for me. I didn’t miss alcohol and I didn’t feel like I lost anything by not drinking. I discovered some great alcohol-free alternative drinks that I enjoyed and I relished a year without experiencing any hangovers. However, that year presented other significant challenges for me, including enduring more Covid lockdowns in Melbourne, parenting a vivacious toddler, and losing my father to cancer. Despite these difficulties, I stuck to my plan, which resulted in me feeling happier, healthier, and more present as a husband and father.

In May 2022, we received the news that Mum’s chronic liver disease had reached its end stage, and she was referred to the palliative care team. Mum passed away in late November, leaving us with a range of emotions. Though I had been grieving her for some time, her passing was still overwhelming, filled with regret, disappointment, empathy, resentment, pain, and deep sadness. Writing her funeral speech was difficult. I remembered her as a caring mother, devoted daughter, and active community member, but struggled to see past the gloom that her drinking had cast over the last few years.

On the night of my mum's funeral, I joined the Hello Sunday Morning Kozi Moonlight Challenge, which I had previously considered, but felt wasn't the right time.

But now, it felt like a positive way to deal with the darkness of Mum’s story and aid in my own healing journey. I hope to honour her memory and make a difference by preventing others from experiencing the same pain.

Want to know how Shea went on the Hello Sunday Morning’s Kozi Moonlight Adventure? Did he reach the summit of Australia’s highest peak in time for the sunrise? Stay tuned! This is the end of the first part of Shea’s story. In the second part, Shea will be sharing how the challenge went, the community he has found since publicly talking about his mum and his thoughts on the future.

Learn more about Hello Sunday Morning’s Moonlight Mt Kozi Trek and check out Shea’s fundraising page.

Like many of us, I have, for some time asked the question. Am I drinking too much? Is this a problem? Do I need this in my life?

Like many Australian men, my “rite of passage” was getting into pubs underage, getting “blind” and surviving the worst hangovers.

Although the dial has shifted on this in recent times, hangovers were a bragging point. As a result, binge drinking became a part of my social scene. Ev’s always in for a big night became the theme.

This continued, even after I was married, after I had children, and, as they grew. Although the regularity of my drinking decreased the extremes remained. For many people there is an extreme point which defines the need for a change. For me there were multiple, however, none of them were too extreme, some were a bit embarrassing, others not at all, but I certainly came to the point where I decided that my values and my binge drinking were at odds with each other.

I value being healthy. Throughout my life I played sports and competed at different levels, mostly for the enjoyment and the feeling of being fit and healthy.

More importantly, I value my family and I knew that the example I was setting alongside my inability to function as a husband and a father were also at odds with my behaviour.

Like many blokes in their 50’s I wasn’t bouncing back any more as well, in fact it was more of a “splat” that left me running on two cylinders the next day. So I took a week off here and there, and took a month off once or twice. After each period, I would then pick up a drink again, but also each time I did this I was a bit wiser and self-aware. If you’re waiting for the crash to happen, it doesn’t. This is a story about moderation and my experience of it.

I live in an environment which is quite unique, if I go to a party, my wife and I walk there. There is no “nah, I’m driving” happening. We have fairly regular dinners both at our home and at others, there is always wine and beer, there is a club up the road, we walk there. What this means is that the environment is very “forgiving” for someone who drinks too much. So when I cut back, I braced myself for inevitable pressure from others. I braced myself for wanting more and having to say no, not only to others but to myself. I read books on quitting with most painting fairly bleak pictures of the moderation approach.

For me, if I have too much coffee - I get anxious and ineffective, and so I moderate it. I now take the approach that alcohol is in the same boat.

I like to have a glass of wine with friends, but I know that if I have too many then I don’t get funnier, or smarter, I don’t become a better husband or father and I know that I will not look back tomorrow with fondness about my decision. So, I set some rules, the same way I do for regular exercise, coffee, chocolate and a range of other things in my life.

What I also find is that the peer pressure aspect is less than I anticipated.

I have had periods of abstinence and that has been respected, sure, there have been comments and a nudge here and there but I have a few lines that I rattle off and that tends to do the trick. My standard is….

“nah, it’s been knocking me around I’m off it for a bit.”

“I’m topping out at two tonight, that’ll do me”.

If people don’t respect that, well, that’s on them.

I know that moderation isn’t an option for many, and abstinence is seen as the only true approach. I respect, that for many, this is the case. But for those who want to simply cut back, or take a break, there is a way. My way is to take what I call a value driven approach. Essentially my actions are either helping me head towards these values or they aren’t. If they aren’t, I take corrective action, if that doesn’t work then I ask for help. This is my approach to alcohol. I have had many times where I have headed in the wrong direction.

These are the times I speak to people and use Daybreak. It works for me and perhaps it will for you as well.

Cheers

Ev – from Hello Sunday Morning

The holiday season is a time of celebration and joy. It is a time for excess and indulgences. During this time, alcohol consumption can increase by 40%, meaning many people drink more than they intended.

The holiday season can also be stressful, filled with anxiety, disappointment and loneliness. High expectations from relationships, families, colleagues and friends can be confronting and challenging to navigate. During such demanding times, even the best intentions for healthy living can quickly become unstuck and some people may slip into unhealthy behaviours with alcohol use. Making it a vulnerable time full of relapse triggers.

The demands of Christmas and all the stresses that come with it can often make it challenging to step back and give yourself the understanding and compassion you need and deserve. This can keep you stuck or pull you back into the vicious cycle that stands in the way of you moving closer to your core values.

Be empathic towards yourself, especially when encountering emotional pain, grief or loneliness.

The shared experience between a community of people moderating their alcohol consumption or maintaining sobriety allows you to lean on others who understand what you are going through. Engaging with your peer community can provide motivation and hope that progress and recovery are not only possible but sustainable. Whether committing to a healthier approach to alcohol consumption, sobriety or supporting a friend or loved one, please know you don’t have to do this alone. Be sure to reach out to the Daybreak online peer community, where you can receive support while supporting and encouraging others at the same time.

Whether you are taking a mindful approach to your alcohol consumption, especially around Christmas time, or you are in sobriety or are thinking about a change, everyone can benefit from having a personalised toolkit.

A personalised toolkit helps you build a robust self-care framework you can draw on at any time or place, no matter where you may be on your journey. It’s your personal investment in learning new ways to check in with yourself, manage difficult emotions, tolerate distress and self-soothe without alcohol.

Access a copy of the HSM Healthy Sober Living Toolkit - click here.

A collection of evidence-based tips, tools and strategies you can personalise and rely on to help you navigate challenging times. These strategies provide healthy alternatives to help relieve emotional pain and shift a stressful state of mind instead of relying on alcohol to achieve that relief.

The Healthy Sober Living Toolkit can help you master the skills for managing challenges and living your life with clarity and purpose.

Remember to make yourself a priority in your own life and treat yourself with kindness.

Thank you for being you. Go well!

Dominique

The end of an era – the moment I decided to quit drinking alcohol

I decided to try and give alcohol away after landing in Kununurra hospital with alcohol-related pancreatitis. Pancreatitis, by the way, is no party trick! I couldn’t lift my head up without throwing up and I’d thrown everything there was to chunder. After 10 days I sort of walked out of hospital, but I had a distinct wobble towards the left that took quite a bit of exercise and practice to overcome. I had done some brain damage in my enthusiasm for upholding the creed of the north… drink until you drop!

I was so sick it wasn’t hard to give up after getting out of hospital. The drug and alcohol people had come to talk with me while I was taking up a hospital bed so I decided quit drinking alcohol – it was time to do something about my drinking. My drinking problem had progressively grown and shrunk over the years. I used to kid myself that I was a “functioning alcoholic” sometimes. But that viewpoint would morph into outright denial under pressure from friends or ex-lovers. Now after having blood pressure off the charts and feeling the devastation that only serious illness can bring, I was finally ready to change.

I had lingering thought
in the back of my mind;
‘one day when I'm a bit older
I'll be able to drink in moderation.’

I cajoled a mate into co-founding a local branch of AA after reading up on that organisation and resonating with it. We did get the branch up and running but soon my work took me away from town into the bush. That was in 2004 and for 5 years I stayed off the turps. But I always had this lingering thought in the back of my mind that ‘one day when I’m a bit older I’ll be able to drink in moderation.’ This was a dangerous ambition to house, but I just could not bring myself to believe or even to say that I would never drink again.

The sudden impulse

After 5 years of quit drinking alcohol and enjoyment of good health, a clear mind and stable relationships with those around me, the idiocy of that inner belief in ‘time heals all ills’ came back to haunt me. I was in Darwin and went to an Asian restaurant for a curry… it was a beautiful beef curry. In fact, this curry was so good one thought took over my mind… a glass of red wine would make this curry complete.

Surely one glass wouldn’t be a big problem, after all I’d handled not drinking for 5 years without any hiccups. I knew how to control the ‘urge’. So, I ordered a house wine from the waitress and yessss – it was so good and went so well with the curry that I was feeling on top of the world. I only drank that one glass of red that night and I walked back to my motel feeling very happy with myself. All was well… I had faced the dreaded alcohol and had come away on top of the encounter.

The next day I ruminated on this momentous occasion and came to the conclusion that maybe, after 5 long years of quit drinking alcohol, I was ready to ‘drink responsibly’ but I wasn’t tempted to follow up at all. Then later in the day, I was walking past the busy bars on Mitchell Street on my way back to the motel and stared for a while at the crowds of happy, boisterous drinkers. I thought to myself, ‘look at all that mob, I would’ve been right in there once upon a time. But I can’t enjoy life with them because I have this ‘illness’ that stops me from drinking’. This made me feel very alone and very unhappy for a moment. I should have known that thought was my old enemy, my mind is setting me up, but I let it pass.

That glass of red wine
was the beginning of
a 4-year binge of ups, downs
and almighty stuff-ups

Then I remembered my strength in the face of that glass of red wine and I walked back to my room full of strength again. The following day the nagging sadness returned, and I decided I was ready to give 1 or 2 beers a try. I wasn’t really a wine drinker. I was a beer drinker from my teens onwards and this would be the real test. That first time I only had 2 beers but that was enough to make me a bit tiddly after 5 years. Yet, I was still proud of myself that I got up and left the bar before getting drunk.

Back to where I started

Long story short, within 3 months I was drinking as much – if not more than I had been drinking 5 years before. That glass of red wine was the beginning of a 4-year binge of ups, downs and almighty stuff-ups. I won’t bother to go into those 4 years, but my mind found all sorts of rationalisations and ‘reasons’ for my return to the drinking life. Eventually I wound up back in Kununurra hospital on a deja vu visit.

It wasn’t pancreatitis this time it was sheer alcohol abuse. I was 60 kgs (from a normal 75-80 kgs) and so weak I could only walk about 5 meters before I had to sit down on the ground and catch my breath. I was out bush, as before, and I had to fly into town, as before, to get to hospital. A mate met me at the airport and drove me to the emergency door… I took a last swig of my disguised orange juice bottle, laced with Bundaberg Rum as I walked through the door and binned it just inside.

When I reported to the nurse, they were expecting me and straight away I was hurriedly shuffled back into the emergency observation room for the expected withdrawals. The Indian doctor who scored my case noticed I had a couple of books on Buddhism with me and was delighted as a Hindu to have a conversation with me. Hindus are very open-minded and accepting of other creeds. He also informed me that my “liver was going to leave me”. He said the enzyme count that should have been between 30 and 50 was over 4000… the highest he’d ever seen or heard of. He solemnly told me that cirrhosis of the liver was very probable, but we would wait and see.

A second chance

After 5 days in hospital my doctor friend came in excitedly telling me, ‘Mr CB, your liver loves you.’ I was equally excited and asked if the count was back to normal at which he pronounced, ‘no it wasn’t.’ It was 2000 but heading in the right direction. The drug and alcohol worker came to see me. She was very concerned and very compassionate so I decided that this time had come again but I couldn’t do this on my own this time. I needed more tools in my toolbox to handle it this time.

The lovely lady booked me onto the waiting lists for 3 different rehab facilities in Perth. There were heaps of people needing rehab as it turned out, so I would have to wait. I waited 2 months with no answer from any of the 3 facilities. I was in fact writing an email to accept a job offer from a well-meaning acquaintance. He had said to me that I had beaten it for 5 years once before and I should just come back to work and do it again. He and his staff would support me.

This was a very generous offer, and I was totally thankful, but I knew deep down that I really needed those extra tools to beat this ‘thing’. I did not want to go another 5 years just to bust again and have to go through the same old same old all over again. But with no word from any of the rehabs and the job demands coming up I was at the point of accepting the offer. But, thankfully, before I had finished penning the email, I got a phone call from the Salvos Bridge Program people wanting to know if I still wanted a bed in their rehab facility. I immediately jumped at it and within a week I had flown into Kununurra and on to Perth.

Long story short once again, the 4-month program that the Salvation Army advertise turned into 6 of the best spent months I’d spent in 40 years. I was 60 then. I could write a book on that brilliant experience, and I wish I’d done it 20 years before. But I’ll skip the details of that great journey only to say that it gave me not only the tools but allowed me the time to turn a very important corner. I was the oldest patient in the place and just about all the other people there were dependent on ice or heroin or multi-drug sufferers.

If you've tried and fallen off the waggon,
just jump right back on.
It's not a failure,
it's just another step in the process.

A week before I left rehab, I had an epiphany. I literally felt like my brain had moved in my skull and a great weight had disappeared magically off my shoulders. The counsellors had all said that I would know when it was time to leave the facility. And they were right. But I didn’t expect the absolute revelation that came with that knowledge. I knew I didn’t need or want to drink again.

Quit drinking alcohol for good

I ‘knew’ deep down that I didn’t want to touch alcohol again as long as I lived, and I could openly and honestly say it! I’m now 69 and after 8 years of sobriety, going 9 in November, I still can say very loudly I will never drink alcohol again.

If I could say one or two things to anyone who thinks that this battle is just too hard, I’d say if you’ve tried and fallen off the waggon, just jump right back on. It’s not a failure, it’s just another step in the process. Think long term! Never underestimate that niggling mind burst OR that one glass of wine. Or maybe you just need to go through a bit more before you’re ready. I suffered badly with clinical depression along with the alcohol dependency and both conditions disappeared when I got determined and really concentrated on my recovery program and accepted the help that was offered.

If a weak-willed idiot like me can achieve this goal, absolutely anyone can. You won’t do it alone, but you can do it if you get fair dinkum and accept help. Then don’t ever be distracted by other peoples’ problems or programs. Just put your head down and you’re harden up and concentrate on your own program and do it till it works.

You’ll know when you’ve done what you need to do!

Good luck!

Oh, and start to love yourself. Yes, with all your foibles and warts. just love yourself… because your mum loves you, she can’t be wrong.

Just do it, it’ll be the best thing you’ve done in your life. Just do it! A brilliant life full of colours, flavours and freedoms awaits everyone who persists. I can say that ‘for sure’ because I’m there 🤗 🙏 ❤

Drinking alcohol for people under 40

You might have heard about a recent study suggesting that people under 40 are best advised not to drink. No doubt, this has caused concerns for some, along with other mixed feelings including shame and the feeling of being judged. Studies and their findings can be used to guide personal decisions. They can also keep us informed of any health risks and benefits that may emerge from the data.

So, where does Hello Sunday Morning as an organisation stand on this?

Before we answer that question, it is important to drill down to what exactly this study found and concluded. We will dive deeper into three areas: the study findings regarding young drinkers in particular, HSM’s general view and, where to from here. Hopefully you will be able to make your own informed decisions about your own drinking behaviour.

The study

The Global Burden of Disease analysis published in The Lancet suggests that ‘alcohol consumption carries significant health risks and no benefits for young people.’ Young people in this case are people age between 15-39 years old. The study found that over 59% of participants in that age group were drinking at high-risk levels. Furthermore, 77% of them were males. Overall, the concentration of harmful alcohol consumption for this age group reached in excess of the NDE (Near Death Experience).

In terms of geography, the majority of participants who drank excessively were in Australasia, along with Western and Central Europe. Interestingly, the study did find that older adults may benefit from drinking a small amount of alcohol due to their higher chance of developing cardiovascular disease.

This study recommended that more tailored guidelines that are culturally appropriate and targeted specifically at the under 40 age group is a priority. Guidelines should clearly outline safe alcohol consumption levels and evidenced-base interventions.

Let’s take a have a look at our own drinking culture.

Are Australian under 40 drinking alcohol exceedingly?

According to the National Survey 2020-2021 by ABS, ‘almost seven in ten (69.5%) people aged 18 years and over did not exceed the guideline.’ The guidelines used here is according to the NHMRC standard drink recommendations. The survey reports that out of those who consume alcohol exceeding the standard guidelines, 1 in 7 are aged 18-24 years old and 1 in 4 are aged 55-65 years old. See graph from ABS below:

So, are young people drinking less?

We can see from the statistics above that younger Aussies are drinking less. This might be because they are more health conscious as there are more resources available to educate them about health. Some even argue that the social media culture attributes to this decision. There is a sense of awareness around self-image and self-love (eating well and exercising as a part of self-care and mindfulness); the availability of online dating also opens more opportunities for people to socialise online rather than meeting at pubs and bars. Top that off with the rise of the sober curious movement and the growth of zero to low alcoholic drinks that make it easy for people to opt out from drinking.

When asked what drives the shift in the change of culture (of young people drinking less), Dr Nicole Lee, CEO of drug and alcohol consultancy 360 Edge, also a board member of Hello Sunday Morning said that in her observations ‘we don’t know for sure what is driving it. But I think there is an element of people having children a bit later, so well after their heavy drinking period. So, the modelling of more sensible drinking is more available. Whereas if you have kids in your early 20s and you are still drinking quite a fair bit. Such as going to backyard BBQs with all your friends and drinking heaps, then your kids will see that as well’ .

Although we don’t know for certain what drives the shift, the issue is not how much younger and older adults consume alcohol according to statistics. The study instead was highlighting the point that more attention needs to be placed on Guidelines. Hence, the Global Burden of Disease suggesting a need for more targeted guidelines with the aim to minimise harm and health loss.

Where does that leave you?

There are certain rules and guidelines to a healthy relationship with alcohol. They are designed to help reduce or minimise harm. Guidelines can be useful, but every individual is different. People are complex beings and the relationship between drinking and upbringing, or life experiences are closely related. Where you live, what kind of social circles you belong to, which generation and what ethnicity you are – all of these have an influence on your relationship with alcohol. Whether drinking excessively, moderating or abstaining; over or under 40, the wise approach is to first ask yourself, ‘am I happy with my relationship with alcohol?’ And if you are not, then the next approach would be to consult with a health professional to better understand your health and options.

To be clear, at Hello Sunday Morning, we support people from all different stages of their journey towards a healthier relationship with alcohol. This means whatever age group you are, whatever gender, locality – metropolitan cities or rural country towns, we are here to provide support when you are ready.

Let’s go back to the beginning, should people under 40 stop drinking alcohol? Perhaps a better way to reframe the question is: ‘Am I in control over my relationship with alcohol?’ It is the question we ought to consider from time to time, no matter which age bracket we belong to.

Related article you might be interested to read:

Curbing binge drinking when you’re over 40

When we think about binge drinking, often we imagine teenagers or young adults downing pints of beer or spirits. One thing that might surprise you is that, statistically, some groups of older adults are alongside their younger counterparts in being classified as ‘binge drinkers’.

Congratulation for those who completed the dry month. By now, you might have noticed some changes to your body after a month off booze. Health is certainly one benefit most people would notice. On the financial side, you might also have saved a few bucks from giving up alcohol for a month, which is always welcome especially during tough times!

But there are other aspects that are worth noting and celebrating too. Mostly internal and maybe not so obvious, such as:

Character building – for giving it a go, having self-control and being persistent;
Allowing more focus on different parts of your life – like relationships, work and family; and lastly,
For taking back your Sunday mornings – or any mornings throughout the week without a hangover!

So, keep at it! We encourage you to continue on beyond a month off.

In the past we have written some tips to help keep you going after a dry month. You can find those resources below:

Putting a C.O.R.K in Dry July

What comes after Dry July

Changes in our bodies

For something different, this year we want to challenge you to use the month off experience to take part in building a better drinking culture. Now that you know and have experienced the benefits of taking a break from alcohol, you might be in a good position to share your insights with others. So, why not use your insights to make a difference to better our drinking culture?

Below are some suggestions on how you can do that:

Conversations that help build a better drinking culture

One of the top challenges we often face when quitting alcohol is the question ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ While we don’t owe anyone an explanation for reasons to not drink – using this as an opportunity to open a conversation can be a great way to help better our drinking culture.

Use your answer to challenge their thinking and ask them what they think about it. A word of advice, be mindful of questions that might shame or seemingly be on the defensive side. Instead, use compassion and empathy when challenging people’s thinking around alcohol, as they might not be at the same stage of change as we are. (If you want to find out more about the Stage of Change, read our past blog here)

Here are some ideas on how to share your recent experience and start a conversation:

‘I quit drinking last month and started to notice some improvements in my health as well in other aspects of my life, such as [insert your own experience here]. So, I decided to keep going.’

‘It’s better for my mental health to drink less (or not drink). But I’m actually interested to hear your thoughts on the recent sober-curious movement. Have you heard about it or ever thought about it?’

‘I finally asked myself the question ‘why am I drinking?’. As what I found was that there were not many reasons that benefitted me in the long run. So, I’ve decided not to drink for now.’

Keep in mind, you might get a defensive or dead-end conversation. The aim is not to expect a positive response, but more to create awareness of a different thinking and a change in behaviour around alcohol.

Setting an example to family, friends and the young ones

In a subtle way, without words you are setting an example to people around you through your decision. You might like to demonstrate to your colleagues that you can cope without alcohol when things get tough or stressful, to your children or someone younger that you can enjoy winding down without wine; and to your friends that you don’t need alcohol to have fun or to be ‘fun’. This is a way to start normalising not drinking. Your simple action now can impact future generations to come.

Create awareness about responsible drinking at work or social group

Are you a part of a social group? Or in a position at work to help create a better drinking culture? This may be an opportunity (or dare we say, a higher calling) to raise awareness about excessive drinking. If you are a part of an organising group for a work function, try applying limits to the availability of alcohol as well as providing some alternative drinks. If you and your group are celebrating someone’s achievements, instead of a bottle of bubbly as a gift and having drinks at the pub to mark the occasion, use other gifts and choose other places to meet that involve little or no alcohol.

In the past, a few of our HSM community members have reached out to us for resources to share in the workplace. If you think this can help, we would love to hear from you. Or better still, if you have an idea on how we can help raise awareness of these important messages, please don’t hesitate to contact us!

Raising money for charities

One practical way to help build a better drinking culture is to raise money for causes around which you care about. Whether organising a running group for an event like City to Surf, hosting a bake sale or a sausage sizzle at your local Bunnings*, raising money is a great way to create awareness. If you want to support the work of HSM, or have some ideas to support us, our fundraising team would love to hear from you!

* For those who lives outside Australia and New Zealand, Bunnings is a DIY version of IKEA. Or the equivalent of Home Depot in America.

Share your story and normalise not drinking

Finally, write a story about your own relationship with alcohol. At Hello Sunday Morning we believe that sharing stories can help other people who are on the same journey. There might be others who are going through the same challenges. By reading how you are going can be empowering and motivating for others to keep going. Whether writing a personal story on the HSM platform, sharing a short post on your IG, or telling your personal experience in a private conversation, it can be a testament and a way to help normalise sobriety. Your direct contribution to cultivating a better drinking culture!

Being available when others reach out

‘I’m a rugby league and union
player and copped a lot of sh*t at the start due to
our huge drinking culture but I kept at it and didn’t budge and now
some others message me privately
asking for advice.
[HSM] helped that happen.’

– Paul

As mentioned earlier – it is of value to use compassion and empathy when having conversations about drinking. Our attitude around people who drink alcohol makes all the difference. At Hello Sunday Morning, we are big on offering non-judgemental support and this is something we encourage others to foster too. The best way to do this is by continuing to practise your own beliefs around alcohol and being ready to listen. Keep at it, and perhaps, people will start noticing and might even go to you for advice. Just like our friend Paul! (Read his story along with others here)

Being a support to others can be quite daunting, so make sure you have some way to regulate your emotions and allow time to recover spent energy. When we look after ourselves well, we have a better chance of looking after others.

In perspective

It can be intimidating to compare our simple effort and the extensive complexity of Australia’s drinking culture (or wherever you are living). At times our effort might seem like a drop in the ocean, but our actions and words might make a difference to someone without our knowledge.

Here at Hello Sunday Morning, we can see a shift in the drinking culture over the past 12 years. If we look back 5 years ago, non-alcoholic drinks were almost non-existent, nowadays most bars and venues serve non-alcoholic alternatives. Much is still needed to be done, but there is certainly a better hope for our future.

Would you join us?

Understanding what role alcohol plays with our self-confidence

Whether you are a shy or confident person, an introvert or extravert, holding a glass of wine or a cold stubby can make social interaction somewhat less rigid. So, how can we be confident without alcohol?

Alcohol can seemingly boost our confidence, especially in social settings. It releases dopamine in our brain – a chemical that is triggered from eating our favourite foods, earning money or completing tasks. The surge of this neurotransmitter can make us feel powerful and confident. That’s why alcohol is often referred to as ‘liquid courage’.

The problem with relying on alcohol as a source of courage is that it suppresses our senses and ability to gauge risk or social cues. In other words, we tend to do things without thinking through consequences. We all know the dread of going through our phone the next morning after a big night! Over time, this false courage will eventually have the adverse effect on our confidence.

There are ways to build confidence and courage without alcohol. We’ve put together some helpful tips to help cultivate it – ultimately, it all comes down to mindset. We hope these tips will not only help you to overcome the angst that comes with most social circumstances; but also, allow you to see yourself in a positive way that can serve you well in a long run. Especially when you are trying to quit or reduce alcohol.

Chemical happiness and the role it plays in our relationships with alcohol

Dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin production all have a part to play in our relationship with alcohol.

Five tips on how to be confident without alcohol:

1. Make peace with who you are – how you think and feel about yourself matters

The core belief of using alcohol to be confident is often a false understanding that you are not enough. Which is why the first tip on our list is: to make peace with who you are – in other words, self-acceptance. For some of us, it might take extra courage to socialise. We use alcohol to bring out our ‘fun’ self. But behind the person we are hiding is an individual that is unique in the entire universe. Whose opinion, thoughts and feelings matters.

Accepting ourselves is, of course, easier said than done. It requires some on-going reflection. Over time, with persistence and intentional effort, you will grow to learn and accept who you are. Spend some time for yourself, to take stock of who you are as a person. What are your strengths, positive traits, and your achievements? What do people who matter most to you say about you? Keep these in mind and refer to them when you feel like you need a bit of a pep talk.

2. Mindfulness – being aware of self-critics and practise self-compassion

Mindfulness meditation can give insight into what is going on in our mind. So, give time to be still and to observe perspective. You might find that there has been on-going negative self-talk and that overtime you have come to believe it. Take note of this and practise self-compassion. Some people might find it helpful to write the negative thoughts or criticisms on a piece of paper and then replace them with a kind response to each. If you find it difficult to practise self-compassion, just imagine responding kindly to the person you love (child, close friends, or spouse). If you would not speak harshly to them, why should you be critical to yourself?

A regular practise of mindfulness might be a good way to help build this kind of awareness. Some mindfulness apps such as Calm and Insight Timer are affordable and suitable to use for beginners.

3. Body language

The same way we express our love, anger or fear; our body language can contribute to the way we carry ourselves. Amy Cuddy, on her TedTalk discusses how body language can change not only other’s perception of us, but also our own belief of who we are. At the end of the day, the person that needs convincing the most is ourselves. It might take a few years of trial and error to fully address self-doubts. Though with a little awareness of the way we position our body along with the practise of mindfulness, we could nurture our inner self to be confident without the negative effect of alcohol.

4. Fear of rejections? Let’s address the uncomfortable feelings

Although there might be a lot of reasons why people use alcohol to help socialise, the fear of rejection can contribute to our reliance on alcohol. ‘Rejection’ (for the lack of a better word) is complex, and it is not always related to who we are as a person, other factors could also contribute to it. As it is part of life to be turned down at times, knowing what to do about it might help us to better prepare and have more courage to make the move. Because what might be worse, is to use alcohol to aid the feeling of rejection. Alcohol helps us avoid uncomfortable feelings. Just like the saying ‘a stitch in time saves nine,’ – over time, those feelings we are avoiding could bottle-up and cause more disruptions from within if not addressed.

At the end of the day, perhaps this fear of rejection might relate to our own acceptance of who we are. When we are more comfortable with ourselves, we tend to be better at handling rejection.

(You might find this four pathways about rejection or short video from Seth Godin helpful).

5. Be open-minded and take chances

Finally, when all is said and done, the best way to cultivate courage and confidence is to go ahead and take chances. Whether asking someone on a date or starting a conversation with a person you are fond of, taking that first step might just be the thing you need to practice self-confidence. Of course, there is a possibility that we might be turned down, but there is also a chance that we might do better than we give ourselves credit for. Either way, learning from mistakes is a powerful way to grow.

In summary

Being confident is not about changing who we are as a person, it is more about making peace and loving ourselves. Although it is not an overnight change and there is no quick fix to be daring, a slow pace change often is a deeper and lasting change. Overtime, we can dispel our own self-doubt and be confident without alcohol – the liquid courage.

Why do people turn to alcohol to manage a breakup?

Alcohol is something that people often use to help deal with negative emotions. It can temporarily shift the mind away from uncomfortable feelings such as pain, rejection or disappointment; towards ordinary matters – such as talking to strangers in bars and dancing in nightclubs.

When our relationships aren’t going well, or we are dealing with the fall-out from a break up, we often feel an uneasy combination of fear, sadness, grief, anxiety, anger, frustration and loneliness. None of these are positive emotions, and often they can trigger old memories and feelings from previous painful experiences in our lives.

Ironically, alcohol can be the one thing that stops us from processing the emotional pain of a breakup.

We know that when we drink, our brains are much less efficient at processing memories and emotions, and we can find ourselves stuck in a cycle of feeling down and wanting to avoid this at any cost. It makes sense that we will want to numb some of those feelings and distract ourselves. That dopamine rush which comes with the first drink of alcohol is probably a welcome relief from the emotional chaos that is brewing inside.

However, alcohol is also a depressant that can amplify those original feelings. It can also lower our level of inhibition, meaning that we can do and say things that we later regret, all the while being influenced by these strong, overwhelming emotions.

We think that having a big night out will help us to process all of these feelings of hurt and sadness, but we also know from past experience that these nights out can actually unlock more feelings or prolong negative emotional states.

Alcohol is a depressant
which can amplify those
uncomfortable feelings

Ask yourself:

What might be an alternative that helps you deal with the very normal pain that you are feeling, while at the same time sets you up to move on with your life?

From past experience, what might be the best way to care for your wounded emotions, that doesn’t necessarily involve switching off or numbing yourself?

Below are three ways to process your emotions without the hangover or regret:

1. Support from your circle

One of the reasons we might head out for a night on the town is for the social connection. We know that being in a social environment, talking and interacting with other people that we are comfortable with, can help to shift our mood and feel a sense of connectedness and enjoyment. However, other alternatives might include hosting a games night at home, scheduling a hike with trusted friends or playing sports outdoors with mates. This might create the opportunity to receive unconditional support from your circle.

HSM’s tip: A good night rest will also help you to better prepare to face tomorrow’s challenge. Take it one day at a time.

2. Start processing

Once you have had the opportunity to process what has happened, the next step is to go a bit deeper with your emotions. One thing that alcohol does is to help us avoid fears and emotions. Facing our fear and emotions can be scary and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, in our society, there is often a tendency to consider crying or being sad as a sign of weakness. This goes for both men and women. Quite contrary to common perceptions, tears can be healing. And when you are ready to deal with your emotions, find the right support to help you on your path towards healing. Being in the company of those who love and care for you will serve as a reminder of your sense of worth which can often be hard to keep in mind when processing breakups.

If you feel you can process this in your own time, perhaps schedule in a nice long walk amongst nature and away from your day-to-day scenery or block out a time for yourself and write your experiences down whilst sipping a good cup of tea.

If you do want to work through your feelings, speak to a counsellor or psychologist who can guide you through some techniques to help with this process. Remember that you don’t have to do it alone. There isn’t a ‘set’ timeframe to get over someone – it might look quite different from one person to another, so don’t set a deadline for yourself.

Being in the company of those
who love and care for you will serve as
a reminder of your sense of worth

3. Set goals

One of the things that alcohol does is create a dopamine rush with the first drink that can often provide good feelings and motivation. This hack can trick your brain to give the impression of having a thrill and sense of purpose. But this rush wears off quickly, only to be replaced by those less helpful feelings of tiredness or low motivation.

Setting valued goals would give the same thrill and sense of purpose as we get in order to release the dopamine. This would generate a better long-term benefit than using alcohol. If you find it is a bit too early to start planning goals, it’s worth considering some things that you might like to change or things you’d like to achieve. Combine this with listing one or two things you are thankful for, and you can cultivate a mindset that could be helpful when you are going through a tough time. It can give you encouragement to focus on the big picture, rather than the pain you are in at the present time.

HSM’s tip: If there is a particular day or time that you find difficult, set a new and pleasurable routine around it. This will help you create a new memory while still acknowledging hard times.

When our relationships aren’t going well, or we are dealing with loss, it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed and upset – and we also know that, while alcohol can help to make things a bit easier in that moment, it can also be something that intensifies and prolongs our emotional suffering. Taking a step back from this and considering what needs the alcohol is meeting, can be helpful during times like this.

Your car wouldn’t start.

You missed a work deadline.

You had an argument with a teenager.

You’ve been on the road all day.

You lost a client.

Your presentation was a fizzer.

Your washing machine broke down.

You missed the train.

Your girlfriend dumped you.

Your lecturer is droning on and on.

You forgot to pay an important bill on time.

You left the oven on, and now dinner is overcooked.

Sound familiar? We’ve all had those days.

What’s alarming is that this can lead to an increased urge to pour yourself a drink to process the news, self-soothe after the drama and regroup.

In 2020, 46% of women who participated in a Hello Sunday Morning study into topline behaviours and harmful affects of alcohol said they ‘drink to relieve the stress of the day.’

Additionally, 21% of male drinkers aged 65-74 years fall into the ‘very high risk’ drinking category, consuming on average more than 31 standard drinks in a 7-day period. This is almost double the rate of the average drinker aged 18+.

The study also reported that with alcohol easily accessible we’re more inclined to drink when we are set off by something that goes wrong, and tempted to reach for a wine, beer or mixed drink to carry us through from crisis to crisis.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. How about we try to get you from here, to here.

Old me – open a bottle of wine

New me – takes a walk with a mate

Our Daybreak app suggest that being able to recognise what sets you off and triggers you to reach for a drink is a critical step in limiting your alcohol intake.

There are two types of triggers:

External triggers – people, places, things, or times of day that offer drinking opportunities or remind you of drinking.
Internal triggers – you may have been set off by a sudden thought, a positive or negative emotion such as frustration, or a physical sensation such as anger, anxiety, tension, or nervousness.

When triggers set you off, using alcohol as a coping mechanism can be a way of dealing with your thoughts and feelings. Some people may drink when they feel stressed or anxious, when they feel bad about themselves, or to block out certain memories.

But using alcohol in this way doesn’t help to solve the issue and will only ever numb or mask it for a while. It can also result in people dealing with alcohol dependency issues later on down the line.

Being able to recognise what sets you off
and triggers you to reach for drink
is a critical step in limiting your alcohol intake

Lucy’s story – how knowing her triggers helped her change her drinking habits

Read award winning speaker and author Lucy Bloom’s reflection about how she modified her drinking, and how identifying and planning around her triggers helped her maintain her commitment.

Regrouping without alcohol takes determination and focus, but you stand to gain so much physically and emotionally if you stick with it. The secret is to plan for better coping strategies to deflect how you handle tough times.

Try these alternatives:

Trigger: My team lost a game, and I drink to soften the blow

Alternative: Take up a high adrenalin, easy to access activity like bike riding, swimming or running to sweat it out

Trigger: The kids took forever to get to sleep, I just need to relax with a drink

Alternative: Swap the wine glass for herbal tea and Netflix, or a lavender bath to promote better sleep.

Trigger: After work drinks have become my weekly social life where one drink becomes 5

Alternative: Decline the drinks, and tell colleagues you’ve made plans with family instead

Trigger: Saturday night BBQ’s mean several drinks with friends

Alternative: Create a Sunday morning plan of kayaking, walking, house projects or road trip so you have an excuse to go home with a clear head

Trigger: A bad day at work always drives me to have a glass or two

Alternative: Don’t bottle it up – lace up the runners and get stuck into some high intensity exercise.

Trigger: I can never say no to friends who insist I have a drink

Alternative: Tell them ‘I’m sorry alcohol just isn’t good for me anymore’

Looking for more ideas?

Try online community support

Many in our Hello Sunday Morning community join our Daybreak app to counteract this. Read research summary from VicHealth about Benefits, barriers and strategies when giving up alcohol here.