Let Loose or Lock In? Why November Sets the Tone for Your Year

November is a crossroads.  On one path, it’s easy to lean into the “let loose” energy: Melbourne Cup, long weekends, early end-of-year celebrations and the tempting thought that December is around the corner anyway, so why not start early?  On the other path, it’s the perfect moment to leverage the energy of the ‘Great Lock In’ movement, which was a new term I came across recently on TikTok.   It’s about getting into a state of intense focus to achieve a special goal.  Usually a fitness a goal or work goal but I think it can be applied to alcohol.

For me, December was always the hardest month of the year when it came to alcohol.  Parties, catch-ups, family events, office drinks, every date on the calendar piled high with triggers.  That’s why what you choose in November matters.  If you “let loose,” it’s very easy to slide straight into December on fumes, caught in a cycle of saying yes to everything.   But if you “lock in” now, you give yourself the chance to enter the season steady, clear-headed and actually able to enjoy it.

The Let Loose Loop

When I was drinking, I was a total binge drinker. Never a glass of wine a night kind of person, I’d get caught in what I now call the Let Loose Loop.  It went like this:

• Friday: Big night out. You feel like you’ve earned it after a long week.
• Saturday: Still in the vibe, so you keep it rolling. Another big night.
• Sunday: Foggy, anxious, depleted. The day is wasted, along with your energy.
• Monday: The guilt sets in. “I’m never drinking again.”
• Tuesday: The fog starts to lift. You start bargaining with yourself: “Maybe I’ll drink, maybe I won’t.”
• Wednesday: Feeling good again. “Actually, I’m fine now.”
• Thursday: The itch returns you just want that Friday feeling back.
• Friday: And the loop begins again.

The Let Loose Loop wasn’t just about one weekend for me. It becomes a cycle that could stretch across weeks and months. And in November, with endless events and excuses to drink, the loop spins even faster.  By the time December hits, it's so much easier to keep going and slide into the most triggering month of the year without the strength to stop.

The Power of Locking In

Locking in is how you break the loop. It’s about choosing now to back yourself, even in small ways.

For me, one of the most powerful tools was playing it forward (thanks Dani Carr) imagining what my Sunday would look like without a hangover.  A coffee in the sun.  Time with my kids.  The calm of planning outfits for the week ahead (a new passion I found once my mind wasn’t crowded with regret).   Sometimes it was even just the pride of showing up to a Sunday gym class I’d booked, no matter how dusty I felt.

Every time I kept a promise to myself, I built trust.  Every clear Sunday made me more confident.  And every step I took to lock in gave me back more space, space for family, space for creativity, space for all the holiday traditions I actually loved, like baking cookies or buying gifts.

November Is the Pivot

That’s why November matters so much.  It’s the decision point.  Locking in now gives you the best shot at walking into December strong.  It doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect.  You might still stumble. But you can always choose to lock back in.

Every Sunday that’s clear builds momentum.  Every promise kept builds resilience.  And every week you step out of the Let Loose Loop, you step closer to the life you actually want.

So as the year winds down, ask yourself:  will you let loose and slide into December on autopilot or lock in and walk into the season with clarity, confidence, and energy?

Next month, we’ll share practical ways to handle December’s office parties, family gatherings, and holiday triggers.  But for now, November is your chance to choose.  Don’t just let loose.  Lock in.