You’ll probably break your resolution and that’s exactly how change happens

Real transformation isn’t a straight line. It’s a hundred attempts, a few slips, and the decision to keep trying until one random Tuesday becomes the day everything shifts.

Here’s the truth: I didn’t quit drinking on New Year’s Day. I didn’t quit on a birthday, or a Monday, or after one of those dramatic “never again” mornings.

I quit drinking on June 4th.
A completely random day.
A nothing day.
And honestly, that’s how most real change happens.

Not with fireworks.
Not with resolutions.
But after a hundred small tries, a thousand “maybe next weeks,” and the slow, painful realisation that drinking less was finally less painful than what drinking was doing to me.

People love to talk about discipline.
But discipline didn’t get me there.
Resilience did.
The ability to slip, get back up, try again, and not hate myself in the process.

And that’s why New Year’s resolutions are kind of BS.
Because 92% of Australians “break” them by the end of January and then assume that means they’re done.

But here’s the truth:

Resolutions don’t fail.
People just stop trying again and again and again.

The messy, real journey nobody tells you about.

Before June 4th, there were so many “fresh starts” I lost count.

Dry July.
A three-month break.
A couple nights out “just to test myself.”
And every time I drank again, I would after a few moderate nights out, slide into my old binge drinking habit!

But here’s what I finally learned:

These attempts don’t mean you are going backwards, you’re gathering data.
And every attempt is shaping your journey and pushing you closer!

That’s resilience.
That’s the truth about change.
And that’s why resolutions deserve more compassion and less punishment.

Five habit tips for 2026 (that actually work)

Inspired by Atomic Habits by James Clear (love this book), mixed with lived experience, and grounded in the idea that you don’t have to get it right, you just have to keep going.

1. Replace the habit, don’t just remove it

You can’t rip something out of your life and leave the space empty.
Empty space pulls old habits right back in.

If you’re drinking less, add something good in the exact moment you feel the urge, for me I went back to what I used to like before I was drinking:

• For me it was a fun Friday night drink, like a spider (with Root beer)
• A movie night, like an old 90s rom com
• Roller blading, no just joking but I take the kids to the park?
• Crafting I made a ridiculous amount of friendship bracelets and macrame

Change shouldn’t feel like punishment.
It should feel like substitution.

2. Start ridiculously small (the Glennon Doyle method)

Glennon Doyle once said she wanted to start exercising, so she did one downward dog a day.
That was it.

The next week: two.
Then three.

Ridiculously small.
Ridiculously effective.

Drinking less works the same way.

Try:

• One alcohol-free Sunday a month
• One midweek night off
• Ordering your alcohol free drink first
• Zebra striping (alternating alcohol and alcohol-free drinks).  Didn’t work for me but some people swear by it!

Tiny wins lead to big changes.

3. Habit stacking, the easiest hack in the book

In his brilliant book Atomic Habits, James Clear talks about linking a new habit to one you already do on autopilot.

Examples:

• Before brushing your teeth → 3 deep breaths
• After you check your phone in the morning → drink a glass of water
• After you sit down at night → pour an AF drink instead of wine

Your brain loves patterns, use that.

4. Treat yourself like someone you care about

I tried to channel all the gentle parenting stuff I had been learning into this one but use it on myself.  
It’s science: people who treat themselves kindly recover from lapses faster.

If you slip:
“That’s ok it was just an accident, let’s try again”

Not:
“Well, I already had one… might as well have ten.”  This was totally old me. Like when you can’t just have one slice of cake?

Cake logic ruins everything.

5. Always be testing, tiny experiments = big change

Make your life a mini lab.

Test:

• Which AF drinks you actually like?
• What nights you’re most vulnerable?
• What routines help?
• What reminders work?

Tiny experiments create huge clarity.

So maybe your only resolution for 2026 is this: keep trying.

Not “never drink again.”
Not “be perfect.”
Not “willpower your way through life.”

Just:
Keep showing up.
Keep learning about yourself.
Keep trying again.

Because change rarely arrives on January 1st.
Sometimes it shows up quietly on a random Tuesday in June.
And that can be the day everything starts to shift.