I took salsa lessons and realised it was a better way to meet people than nightclubs

We have turned July into our dancing month, where we will explore different forms of creative expression to music and encourage you to do the same. Salsa and other forms of dance can provide an outlet for a lot of baggage. Hello Sunday Morning is inviting you to come along on our journey to experiment with the boogie and increase your groove.

If I were to think of an environment that was purpose-built to be the most difficult to build new relationships, a nightclub be close to perfect.

When you are single, developing a relationship with alcohol that you are happy with is arguably the hardest of all the stages of life. So much of dating life involves drinking. It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out on a date, moreover to go on said date without getting hammered to cope with the first date jitters.

Whenever someone asks me, ‘how the hell do you meet new people if you don’t drink?’, my answer is one word: Salsaaaaa!

I use the word ‘Salsa’ as a synecdoche to represent a much larger group of activities outside the usual nightclub dance floor. Activities that provide a safe space for play and connection within new people, without expectation. This could be joining a sporting team or Meetup, or any number of activities that encourage people to introduce themselves to one another and build new relationships with people. Romantic or otherwise.

The business models of nightclubs are incentivised directly towards the overconsumption of alcohol. Going to one to build good new relationships is like going to a casino to make money. The house is stacked against you.

The best thing about these alternate ways to meet people is that the rules of engagement are quite clear and for someone who doesn’t want to pursue anything, it is fine to say no, and arguably much easier than saying no to a drunk person in a nightclub. In a nightclub, the loud music, the dim lights and the abject lack of rules of engagement or protocol make it hard to ask someone out without taking a complete chance on their personality and in many ways treating them as a two-dimensional character. Alcohol makes it easier to overcome these reservations – but doing this sober is really hard.

So, my friends, if you find yourself sober and single and keen to mingle – get yourself some salsa lessons or join a Meetup you are passionate about. Don’t bother trying to pick up at a nightclub – go out to enjoy the music, dance, and laugh with friends, but don’t waste your time otherwise.

If you are unconvinced, put the few hundred dollars you would spend going out in a month into dancing lessons and attend a dancing social. Try it for one month and just see what happens. If it doesn’t work – you will always have the casino.

“Have you got a list of things you’d like to try? If you want to share an experience with us that inspires others to start doing the things they have always wanted to do, we would love to hear about it! Email your story (with photos if you have them) to info@hellosundaymorning.org”  


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