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How Sunshine chose between abstinence and moderation

Greetings, my fellow HSMers!

This month marks a special milestone for me. It's been ten years since I made the decision to change my relationship with alcohol. Back then, my drinking had reached a point that was hard to ignore. I was bloated, overweight, constantly battling acid reflux, and one day, I had an argument with my husband in a bar. We rarely argued, so I knew things had to change. I was drinking almost a bottle of wine every day, and I realised it was time to rethink my drinking.

So, I started surfing the web. That’s when I found Hello Sunday Morning (HSM). After some online research, I signed up with the intention of doing 3 months, alcohol free. I posted daily, reading posts of other members and connected with people on the same journey. Some of those connections grew into lasting friendships, including one with a woman from Australia who I’m still in touch with today. HSM was such an eye-opening experience, that I signed up for another 3 months. The HSM experience was so powerful that I remained alcohol-free for 7.5 months.

During that time, I learned why I drank. I discovered the real reasons behind my drinking – it was mostly boredom and the feeling of excitement I got from it. While I sometimes wondered if I had a more serious issue with alcohol, I realised that I didn’t, and through reflection, thought moderation might work for me. So, on that note, I set some personal guidelines that I could follow:

  • Don’t drink and drive.
  • Don’t drink alone.
  • Don’t drink at home unless entertaining.
  • Drink slowly and mindfully.
  • No more than two glasses of wine at one sitting.
  • Skip happy hour with the girls.
  • Limit drinking to just a few evenings per week.
  • Never get drunk.

I’ve primarily stuck to these rules over the years, though I’ve allowed myself occasional exceptions and given myself a hall pass every once in a while. I continue to do alcohol-free months in January, April and August. Looking back over the past decade, I’m grateful for how my life has changed. HSM changed my life. It was a turning point for me, not only for the insights I gained but for the supportive community that helped me along the way.

I understand that moderation isn’t for everyone but it’s worked for me, and I’ll always be thankful for the tools and friendships I’ve built through HSM.

Sincerely,

Sunshine 🌞

4 Comments

  1. That seems like a really healthy and thoughtful (not to mention doable) plan for moderation . My first attempts at moderation had no rules and I just had to “police myself”, but had I put in ground rules like this right away, I may have landed on my success a lot sooner. Well done!

  2. Coming from someone like me who is trying to give up altogether – but haven’t quite got there, your post has been very refreshing for me.Even I haven’t quite stopped altogether – I have substantially reduced my drinking. I guess I feel like I failed because I haven’t stopped altogether, but on the other hand, it’s a lot, lot lower than used to be.

    Before blowing out a little bit in the 10 days I was down to drinking once a week and not getting drunk. I think I could drink between 0 and 4 / week . I would be pretty happy.

    Anyway, thanks for your post and sharing your guidelines. :-). I feel better about my own attempts to reduce.

  3. Nice post – I have also reduced my drinking significantly by following very similar rules. But find I like to have something in the evening so have stumbled across a cheap but refreshing wine option. It is equal parts sparkling water, verjuice and tonic. I actually prefer it to wine (unless a very nice bottle is being opened, or of course a red!). There are many zero beers in the market now, which I also enjoy, but strangely enough in moderation as I feel it perpetuates the idea of a beer after work.

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