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Chelle shares her path to enlightenment and healing

There's got to be more to life than this.

This thought has echoed through my mind countless times over the years, especially during the darkest moments of my battle with alcohol. Growing up amidst extreme levels of family domestic abuse, I began drinking at 13, using alcohol as a coping mechanism for the complex PTSD that haunted me. The next 23 years I battled as a high-functioning high-risk drinker, often drinking without even realising how much I consumed. At my worst, I would drink up to half a carton of beer, or a 10 pack of Jim Beam & Coke most nights.

Life was a chaotic whirlwind of studies, being a mum & FIFO wife, on top of running my own business. The stress seemed insurmountable, and alcohol became my crutch. I could easily finish a six-pack before my partner got home, only to buy another six-pack, hide the empties, and pretend I had just started drinking. It was a constant juggling act, maintaining the façade of normalcy while spiralling deeper into dependency.

I remember vividly those late nights filled with regret and early mornings clouded by hangovers. My financial control over the household allowed me to manipulate our budget to feed my habit. The guilt of hiding my dependency from my partner and the fear of being discovered, only drove me deeper into the bottle. There were moments of clarity where I questioned my path, but the cycle of dependency held me tightly in its grasp.

But in 2012, everything began to change. The people I began to meet and surround myself with led me to dive into the world of self-development, and for the first time, I openly acknowledged that I was a high-risk drinker and that I was struggling with dependency. I clearly remember sitting on a mat in a room full of strangers, feeling completely vulnerable but also sensed safety. We had just completed a personal development workshop and it had been an absolute mind opener.

I went on to work with the workshop coordinator, who later become my first real mentor. She helped me understand that my dependency wasn't about willpower but rather outdated mental programming. I was replaying old data in my mind, and I needed to update my system. This realisation was a breakthrough, allowing me to see my dependency in a new light.

The following year in 2013, I made my first attempt at being alcohol free by participating in Febfast, an initiative encouraging people to stop drinking. I succeeded and remained abstinent until October. However, I struggled with the social aspects of this. At a family wedding I felt overwhelmed being around my entire family without the buffer of alcohol. The pressure was too much, and I relapsed during the festive season, convincing myself that I had my drinking under control. What I didn’t realise was that dependency doesn’t reset—it picks up right where it left off, often even worse than before.

Fast forward to Saturday, July 19, 2014. I woke up with the mother of all hangovers. I honestly felt like I was going to die, and in that moment, I told myself, there's got to be more to life than this. I said no more. I was sick and tired of wasting days hungover, rehashing an outdated habit, wasting money and hiding my drinking. I was frustrated and ready for change. Remembering my success with Febfast, I sought a new way to stay accountable and came across Hello Sunday Morning.

Finding Hello Sunday Morning was a pivotal moment. It provided me with a healthy option to replace my drinking habits and a community that held me accountable. Inspired by this, I decided to replace my Sunday morning hangovers with hiking. I planned to set out on the trails the next day, and thus began my alcohol free journey. Hiking became my new program; replacing my trips to the bottle shop with trips to nature. The benefits were immense: mental clarity, a sense of purpose, reduced stress, improved cardiovascular health and countless others.

Alongside hiking, I further delved into the world of self-development, learning about the mind and body. This inner work helped me understand myself better and grow as a person. Abstinence changed my life in profound ways. It improved my relationships, especially with my husband and kids, and enhanced my commitment to my business. I realised how much drinking had been holding me back. I found solace in the quiet moments on the trail, where I could reflect on my past and plan for a future free from alcohol's grip.

The last 10 years have been the hardest, yet most rewarding. Abstinence led to deep reflection on my values and beliefs, helping me uncover my authentic self. It stripped away the labels and layers that weren't truly mine, revealing who I am at my core. This process was both healing and insightful. I found strength in vulnerability, sharing my journey with others and finding a community of support.

However, abstinence also brought up painful truths about my past. It caused estrangement from some family members, as I became stronger and found my voice. Despite these challenges, I am proud of the person I am today. Being alcohol free has given me a new lease on life and I feel like I am just getting started. The journey of self-discovery and growth is ongoing, and each day presents new opportunities for learning and healing.

As I celebrate this 10th year of being alcohol free, I look back on how far I’ve come and what I’ve overcome. This milestone marks the beginning of a bright, successful and impactful future. My journey to recovery has been one of the hardest battles but it has also been the most rewarding. If my story can inspire even one person to start their own journey to recovery, then sharing it has been worth it.

Being alcohol free isn’t just about abstaining from alcohol; it’s about finding a new way to live, a way that is full of hope, purpose, and fulfillment. It’s about reclaiming your life and realising that there is, indeed, more to life than the numbing effects of alcohol. My story is a testament to the fact that change is possible, and that with the right support and determination, anyone can overcome a dependency and build a life they are proud of.

To anyone reading this who is struggling with a dependency, know that you are not alone. There is help available, and there is a life beyond alcohol that is richer and more fulfilling than you can imagine. Take that first step, reach out for support, and believe that you too can find the strength to change. Being alcohol free has given me a new perspective on life, one that is filled with possibilities and the promise of a brighter future. Here's to the next 10 years and beyond.

13 Comments

  1. Good on you. Very well put into words. Inspiring. Giving hope. I am just at the beginning of 10 years (for the 50th time).
    Thank you.

  2. What a great read…it makes all of us trying to make the change believe if you can do it so we can too
    Thanks so much for sharing.

  3. Hello Chelle
    I am a beginner at giving up. AF from July but had a blow out last Friday. The guilt and anger at myself is unbelievable. I am on a discovery to replace the habit and try to be happy and deflect horrible thoughts. You have inspired me.

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