In the first part of Alex’s interview, she shared her own personal journey with sobriety and how she eventually arrived at Hello Sunday Morning to help likeminded people. In this final part of her interview, Alex shares how her lived experience helps provide perspective to help others as a Care Navigator at Hello Sunday Morning. Alex also adds some useful tips to keep us going.

Given your insight into alcohol dependency and making changes, what do you feel you offer the Daybreak community?

I bring my own lived experience as well as my professional insight which is practical and person-centred.

Offering empathy is huge with me. I remember the fear and shame, and what that feels like when you are really trying hard to explore how to change. I can support people to work out alcohol free days and step towards strategies that relate to the different parts of the journey they’re on.

I understand those voices that you carry inside you when you’re processing things.

I like to bring a connection of kindness and a feeling that there is a form of hope for people to move through each stage of their sober curious or sobriety state.

For a lot of people, the biggest thing is ‘Where do I start? How can you help me? How is this time going to be different?’ Those questions can be overwhelming so I’m here to support them and guide them in the right direction, but also reassure them that things are possible. Change involves baby steps and I help them break down those steps, with full insight into the push-pull you feel as someone who has been there themselves, trying to release the grip of alcohol.

Relapses with alcohol can make people
feel like they’ve let themselves down.
I reassure them that they’re accepted here
and that they are fully supported.

Some people ask, ‘Why do I have issues with alcohol, and others don’t?’ we are all affected differently by alcohol, based on life events or even genetics. For some people it’s hard to stop drinking once they start – if you have a compulsion to drink and your blood alcohol reaches a certain amount, it’s like a runaway train.

I bring empathy and knowledge about people’s journeys, and I love people knowing that they have the possibility for recovery.

Do you ever feel triggered to drink after listening to people’s stories in Daybreak?

No. I’m very grateful for where I’m at and where I’ve come from. I’m all about bringing that change for other people, because I’ve been that change for myself.

Relapses with alcohol can make people feel like they’ve let themselves down. I support them and reassure them that they’re accepted here, they’re welcome to talk through the triggers and lean into the different challenges that they experience knowing that they are fully supported – I’ve seen people who come back after years for a check-in saying, ‘I just need to remember what worked for me last time.

What is your favourite part of working with Hello Sunday Morning and interacting with the Daybreak community?

By the time people reach out for help, they’ve already endured so much and have been dealing with their alcohol dependency on their own. Care Navigation can support them to find the best support at the right time.

They can choose to talk to me one-on-one anonymously or they can interact with a pseudonym to talk to others in the community as well. I love that we give them this choice. Supporting new people is always wonderful, as is being there for the regular Daybreak community as they maintain focus.

I’m so energised by reassuring people that they are in the right place, even if they’re not quite sure what strategies, services, or resources they want. I’ll continue to chat with them about what works on a personal level and be a reminder for them to practise self-kindness as well.

I bring empathy and knowledge
about people’s journeys,
and I love people knowing that
they have the possibility for recovery

I love helping people feel they can do this – that they can make the change they want to happen, and that they deserve to feel good and proud of every single step.

Care Navigation is personal support that meets them where they are at. I’ll recommend resources – a book, a podcast or other services and tailor strategies like how to have the conversation with their GP or make sure they book a longer time so that their GP appointment isn’t rushed. There may be other issues that they need to consider and I’m always looking to offer them more holistic support.

Essentially as a Care Navigator you are co-navigating their journey through change. You put yourself in the seat next to them, saying ‘I’ll show you the way, it’s OK – I’ll be that person to help you get towards strategies that work for you.’

What does it mean to you to be a Care Navigator for Hello Sunday Morning?

This role is everything to me because I’ve had a life that could have gone either way. It’s now an alcohol-free life, I’m present for my daughter, have a great job, home and partner. I remember people’s kindness to me in the early days when I was reaching out for support and how helpful and kind they were.

I want to offer that same compassion because even your closest family and friends can’t always help you when you are rock-bottom. It means so much that Care Navigators can offer that in their place with strategies that can work.

Care navigation is about a real human offering support, not a bot!

We use chat messaging to discuss what strategies and steps might be better for the individual, and if that doesn’t work, then we can change it to make it more successful.

Essentially as a Care Navigator, I am co-navigating
people's journey through change.
I put myself in the seat next to them,
saying ‘I'll show you the way,
it's OK – I'll be that person to get you
towards strategies that work for you.’

Do you have any sober mantra’s that you could share with us?

For myself in the beginning my personal mantra was always ‘Whatever happens – don’t pick up (a drink).’ For me one drink would always lead to a second or third, and I didn’t want to go back to where I started, or worse.

For others it is less of a need for a mantra and more of a need for me to reassure them to stay connected, no matter how they feel. I encourage them to just keep monitoring themselves, stay in tune to what is happening and keep talking to others to lean on them for their support and encouragement too.

What are your top tips for starting out when making changes to drinking habits?

It’s really all about a personal pathway to care …

Look after your emotional self
Stay connected with others – talk to people or professionals you trust
Make the change early before things become more tangled and damaging

Care Navigators like Alex are here for you to chat with online when you’re feeling stuck with your drinking goals. Their personalised support makes all the difference in helping you on your journey.

Thanks Alex, for sharing your experiences and insights. We are grateful to Care Navigators like you who provide compassionate and practical support to our community in the Daybreak app.

The Daybreak app is free for all Australian, thanks to the Australian Government support for Hello Sunday Morning. Download the Daybreak app today on Google Play or Apple Store!

When you decide to quit alcohol, there are a lot of aspects of your life that can be affected by these changes. After all, it is a lifestyle alteration. You may find some challenges within your circle of relationships, when making choices about activities to undertake or even when setting your boundaries with low-alcohol beverages and food that contains alcohol. In this part of the FAQs series we cover some of the day-to-day challenges and questions that often come up within the early stages of your decision to make changes to your drinking habits.

How to manage any existing relationships and friendships that have traditionally revolved around alcohol.

People often hesitate to make a change in their drinking habits, scared of losing or altering friendships and relationships. This is understandable, after all, our connections and our community are what give us a sense of belonging. It is important to acknowledge your feelings of fear. However, it does not mean that you should expect these relationships to deteriorate. Perhaps using these suggestions might help manage your relationships:

Be direct – it is a good idea to explain the reasoning behind your decision to change your drinking habits and the changes that you might be planning (e.g. ‘I’m going to have three alcohol-free days a week’, ‘I’m going to take a break from alcohol for 3 months’). Communicate how your partner and friends can be supportive to you.
Check in – plan a follow-up conversation with your loved ones. As with the initial conversation, provide a safe space for your friends to express how they feel so far.
Brainstorm alternative activities – while you won’t be doing date night with happy hour anymore, there are other activities that you and your partner can enjoy – why not brainstorm together? How about cooking or dancing classes, or make a new tradition of a Sunday morning hike, choosing new locations to try each week?

At the end of the day, communicate to your loved ones that it is not about their relationship with you, but rather your own relationship with alcohol.

What are replacement behaviours?

A replacement behaviour is essentially a behaviour that replaces your usual habit. In the case of a drinking habit, using a replacement behaviour is the act of doing something else to stop your own personal pattern of drinking. For example, instead of drinking alcohol at 5 pm after work, or when the kids are out of the house, a replacement behaviour would be setting up an activity to do at that particular time, instead of your usual drinking habit. It could be doing a workout or a run, cooking a nice meal for dinner, or calling a friend.

See some tips for replacement behaviours here.

How much alcohol is left in a cooked meal?

The ethanol boiling point is at 78.37° Celsius. There are a few opinions around the amount of alcohol left during cooking. For instance, according to this standard from the USDA (scroll through page 14), the amount of alcohol cooked out at the boiling point for 15 mins with a stirring method, is 75%. The remaining amount will then continue to decrease to 5% if stirred for another 2.5 hours. Other opinions state that many factors could contribute to alcohol retention. Such as the diameter of the pan, ingredients added and cooking technique – whether it is stirred, simmered, covered or uncovered, could affect the retention of the alcohol. In short, there is no ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to whether or not all the alcohol burns off during cooking.

If you would like to read more on this topic, see our blog about alcohol and food.

What is de-alcoholisation? Is it really safe to drink zero alcohol beer?

De-alcoholisation is a process to remove alcohol from fermented beverages prior to bottling. It’s a process to make low- to zero alcohol beverages.

There are a few ways to remove alcohol from beer. Some well-known methods are: through the boiling or heating process, vacuum distillation and using a specialised strain of yeast that stops fermenting once the environment reaches a certain ABV – usually 0.5 ABV which is classified as low alcohol in Food Standard Australia New Zealand guidelines for beverage labelling.

Warning: For some, drinking low- to zero alcohol beverages can still be triggering. Each of our relationships with alcohol is unique. It is important to note what triggers you and what you are ok with. Seek advice from a GP to help determine what would be helpful for you and your specific health needs.

What are the stages in change

If each of our journeys to a healthy relationship with alcohol is unique, what are the stages in personal change? Which stage are you in right now? Understanding this will help, not only yourself, but also others whom you wish to support in the future.

Pre-contemplation – known as the early stage. When someone is using alcohol and not really wanting to make any changes. In this stage, people often see more ‘pros’ to alcohol use than ‘cons’.

Contemplation – a stage where a person starts to think about change. Perhaps someone has noticed health issues or other negative implications that come with drinking. The ‘pros’ & ‘cons’ are shifting, but there are enough ‘reasons’ to keep drinking, so change doesn’t happen yet.

Ambivalence – is a crossroads stage. Someone might be aware of the ‘benefits’ of drinking, as well as the ‘costs’. This is where a person will describe really enjoying some of the aspects of drinking but also may be struggling with the negatives of drinking regularly, or in high volumes. This is where they may make the decision about whether to change.

Preparation – a stage where a person has decided to make a change and they are going through the process of getting ready. Sometimes preparation can be so daunting and can cause a person to slip back into ambivalence or contemplation, especially if help isn’t available. This may change a bit later on when there is more support.

Action – is the stage where someone is ready to make a change and has taken action to do so. They have moved through the process of change to get to the point where they are invested in the process. For many, this is an interesting time, as so much can change – they are making changes to their wellbeing, as well as alcohol consumption (e.g. cutting back, AF days, or longer periods of time without alcohol).

Maintenance – for many people, they will have arrived at their ‘ideal’ relationship with alcohol – whether that be total abstinence, a reduction of drinks per week, the institution of regular alcohol–free days, or even a safety plan for ‘risky’ drinking situations. It is called the maintenance phase because, just like with any behavioural change, it does require maintenance.

Read more about stages in reducing alcohol here.

In early November, I hit a milestone of 300 days alcohol free. I felt surprisingly flat. The festive season was approaching and continuing to abstain from alcohol felt harder than it ever had before. Not drinking alcohol day-to-day didn’t bother me, it was just the social gatherings and celebrations which I was starting to find very challenging.

Within the 300 days, I made it through two major events, my 30th birthday and my sister’s engagement party without an ounce of alcohol passing my lips. I felt proud of my strength to stay sober but also a sense of loss, that I was missing out while others were having more fun.

Feeling sad about the prospect of staying sober at my upcoming Christmas celebrations, I started reasoning that it might be ok to drink again. I didn’t want to get drunk, just to allow myself to have one or two when I felt like it.

By mid-November, I had successfully drunk moderately on two occasions without any consequences. Then came my first Christmas function of the year. I planned to have one mid strength beer per hour and drive home. As soon as the alcohol was in my system, my mindset switched and my drinking escalated into a full-strength beer, followed by multiple glasses of wine and shots. The rest of the night was a blur ending with dire consequences including losing my phone, locking myself out of my house, writing off the next day and re-visiting the awful post-binge shame spiral.

As I realised from my slip, the festive season can make it especially hard to stay sober or moderate drinking. There are several valid reasons for this, so it is important to recognise what these are if you are struggling with any urges. Some common urges to drink at Christmas time are caused by increased social pressure, increased availability of alcohol and heightened emotions.

The expectation to drink at festive events is hugely ingrained in our culture so it is not surprising that there is increased social pressure to drink at this time of year. Workplace Christmas parties and sporting club break ups often come with the mentality that we can only let off steam or celebrate achievements with alcohol.

The increased availability of alcohol at festive events may present another challenge. Alcohol at corporate events is often free flowing as a reward, and intake can be unmonitored with large bar tabs. The increased amount of social gatherings around Christmas and New Year also add to the number of drinking opportunities. I’ve found that multiple events and activities contribute to social fatigue which can also drive excessive drinking, which of course is often used as a social lubricant.

There is no doubt, emotions are heightened over the festive season and alcohol may be used as a way to numb any discomfort or social tension that this time of year brings for some people. Alcohol can also fuel arguments between family and friends – so all in all it’s a tricky time of the year!

From my recent slip, I was reminded that moderation does not work for me and sticking to non-alcoholic alternatives is the best option. Whether it is sobriety or moderation it is still important to have strategies to make it easier for yourself. This could be having a task to stay occupied such as offering food platters to other guests or making fun mocktails to share. It is also helpful to surround yourself with others who are not drinking or who are moderating their intake.

Slip-ups may happen over the festive season. So it is important that if they do occur, be kind to yourself, learn from it and address the issues that may have caused the slip.

A key take home message that may be helpful over this period, is to focus on what you will GAIN over the festive season by not drinking, rather than what you fear that you will miss out on.

In this series of Tips and Hacks, we’ll be covering how to change your relationship with alcohol – from the perspective of an expert. As a psychologist who also works as an alcohol counsellor, I’ve picked up some useful knowledge about what really works – particularly when you’re taking those first steps towards change.

So let’s get started:

1. Reflect on the role alcohol is playing for you right now

Nobody drinks alcohol ‘just because’ – the downsides of drinking, like the cost on our body and finances, among other things, are too great. For everyone who is wanting to change their relationship with alcohol, the first step needs to be considering what it is actually being used for. Perhaps you’re using alcohol to regulate your emotions, because you’re too exhausted to use other methods right now. Perhaps it is helping you to escape yourself for a few hours in the evening, or being used to dull down anxiety or loneliness. As difficult as it may be, it’ worthwhile really getting to the core of what alcohol is doing for you, and why it has remained in your life, despite the costs.

2. Consider your ideal relationship with alcohol

The next step – once you’ve identified the role alcohol is playing for you – is to consider the role you’d like it to play. This is different for everyone – for some people, no relationship with alcohol is the safest option – whereas for others, occasional or situational use might work really well. When you’re considering what your ideal relationship looks like, think big – even if you don’t feel it is possible right now, just consider what it would look like in your ideal world.

3. Set Goals

The next step is to move the needle a bit towards that big ‘ideal relationship with alcohol’ – but don’t worry, we want to start small. Making minor changes to your behaviour is way more sustainable than big, life-altering ones, and it gives us space to be curious. Your goal might be to not keep alcohol in the house, and only drink when out with friends, or perhaps it is to drink a big glass of water when you finish a glass of wine.

The key is that you’re switching up your behaviour to move towards lower-risk drinking – bit by bit.

4. Self-Monitor

Self-monitoring is an amazing intervention in itself, even though it is often used as just a way to keep track. Once you’ve started this process, make an effort to keep track of your alcohol consumption and look at this at least once a week. You might want to set goals for yourself for a certain number of drinks per week, and, if you really want to get nerdy, represent this on a graph so you can see the numbers dropping. This is really motivating, and recording each thing you drink also keeps it at the forefront of your mind.

5. Be kind to yourself

During this process you might also need to remind yourself that, yes, you are human, and sometimes change doesn’t happen as quickly as you’d like. It is important to be curious about urges and triggers when you start on this journey, as well as the situations that didn’t quite go to plan. Taking a growth mindset with change – as in, trying to figure out what went wrong so we can do better next time – is likely to result in better outcomes than beating ourselves up. Changing your relationship with alcohol is a marathon rather than a sprint, so make sure you set yourself realistic goals for where you are right now.

Changing your relationship with alcohol doesn’t have to be drastic or involve huge changes to your lifestyle – it is more about figuring out what is going to work for you.

This Friday, 8th March, is International Women’s day – a time to celebrate how far women have come and reflect on how far they still have to go, in terms of gender equality. While politics, policies and parenting may take the spotlight, there’s one area where women may not be able to make considerable progress – alcohol. The effects of alcohol can generally be more pronounced in women, and women have unique considerations in terms of fertility and health. Here are five things women should know about alcohol, and some tips for healthier outcomes.

1. Women can generally be more easily affected by alcohol than men

Women generally have more fat and less muscle in their body composition than men. Alcohol tends to distribute itself mostly in tissues rich in water like muscle, instead of those rich in fat. In a way, the fat acts like tetris blocks where the alcohol doesn’t distribute, thus making it more concentrated within the rest of the body. Similarly, women are generally smaller in stature than men, meaning less space for alcohol to concentrate in. Both of these factors can lead to higher Blood Alcohol Concentrations (BAC) for women when they drink the same amount as similarly sized men.

Tip: Women shouldn’t feel pressured to keep up drink-for-drink with men, nor participate in rounds, as the effects of alcohol can be more pronounced for them. Alternate water with each alcoholic drink and have a nutritious meal before drinking alcohol.

2. Women are drinking more now than in the past, with older women being more risky drinkers

Around one hundred years ago, the number of women who drank alcohol globally was approximately half that of men. The social acceptability and availability of alcohol has seen women catch up over the century to reach consumption rates almost on a par with men, effectively meaning almost double the alcohol consumption for women over this time period.

In Australia, among women, 13 per cent of those aged 50–59 are likely to be drinking at risky levels – defined as more than two standard drinks per day. This usurps the ‘stereotypical’ thinking that the younger nonchalant generation drink to excess. Women aged 40–49 are not far behind with a risky drinking rate of 12.5 per cent. Expectations of juggling parenting and careers, patterns of ingrained and automatic behaviour formed over time, and the emotional labour of running a household are all possible reasons for this increase.

Tip: If drinking has become a way to cope with the ‘mental load’ or the emotional labour of running a household that disproportionately falls to women, try reducing your expectations, delegating and ‘doing less’ instead.

3. Higher alcohol consumption is heavily linked to domestic violence

There is much evidence globally to suggest that domestic violence is linked to heavy alcohol use by men. This has huge implications on women – affecting relationships with their peers, future partners, as well as children. Although other factors such as socio-economic status can exacerbate this relationship, we know that alcohol is a huge driver in these situations.

In Australia, 36% of intimate partner homicide offenders were under the influence of alcohol at the time of the incident.

According to this WHO factsheet, a community intervention in an Australian town restricting the sale of alcohol saw a reduction in the cases of domestic violence presenting to hospital. There are also numerous cases around the world that saw a drop in domestic violence via strategies reducing alcohol in the community.

As domestic violence is typically a very complex matter, we suggest to reach out to 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) if you’re at risk – which is a 24 hr national sexual assault, family or domestic violence line for any Australian who has experienced or at risk of any of these situations.

4. Alcohol may increase the risk of developing breast, ovarian and endometrial cancers

Alcohol use is a cause of cancer, the risk increasing in line with consumption for both genders. For women specifically, there is strong evidence to suggest that alcohol use increases the risk of breast cancer. For women whose alcohol consumption leads to weight gain and a high percentage of body fat, this in turn can increase the risk of cancers including the ovaries and endometrium. Women who drink excessively develop more medical problems than men.

Tip: For those who choose to drink alcohol, do so within the Australian guidelines to reduce health risks from drinking alcohol i.e. drinking no more than two standard drinks on any day reduces your risk of harm from alcohol-related disease or injury over a lifetime. Drinking no more than four standard drinks on a single occasion reduces the risk of alcohol-related injury arising from that occasion.

5. Alcohol can affect conception, fertility and the health of your baby

For pregnant women, drinking alcohol increases the risk of stillbirth, premature birth and low birth weight, miscarriage, birth defects and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, or FASD. FASD is a condition that is an outcome of parents either not being aware of the dangers of alcohol use when pregnant or planning a pregnancy, or not being supported to stay healthy and strong during pregnancy.

While alcohol does not directly affect the contraceptive pill, consumption of alcohol can lead to less compliance with contraception generally, due to forgetfulness, a change in regular routines or reduced inhibitions to use barrier methods, and therefore increases the risk of pregnancy.

Conversely, research shows that even drinking lightly can increase the time it takes to get pregnant; women who drink large amounts of alcohol are more likely to have heavy or irregular periods and fertility problems; and alcohol can also affect ovulation, which can make it difficult to conceive.

Tip: The National Health and Medical Research Council, Australia’s peak body on developing national health advice, recommends that for women who are pregnant, planning pregnancy or breastfeeding, not drinking alcohol is the safest option.

In what other ways do women have a unique relationship with alcohol?

It doesn’t feel like long ago that I struggled to go just one week without alcohol. So it’s hard to believe that it’s now been two years without a drink. My original goal was to stop drinking for a year. However, after seeing how much my life changed in that year, I decided to stick with the sober life. I haven’t decided that I will never drink again but the longer I stay sober, the more reasons I find to want to stay sober.

Giving up a twenty-year binge-drinking habit has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The new lifestyle still presents challenges, although it has proven that sometimes the hardest things to do are often the most rewarding.

Last year was tough. I consciously didn’t date anyone all year. I knew it was going to take at least twelve months to adjust to an alcohol-free life and to feel comfortable enough within my new sober skin to go on a first date. I also avoided as many social events as possible. Just the thought of going to a pub or bar, sober, made me feel uncomfortable. A few months into the year I came to the realisation that I not only had social anxiety but most likely always did have, and had been self-medicating with alcohol.

A few months into the sober life I got invited to a party. I knew I had to go because it was for a good friend and I couldn’t avoid parties for the rest of my life. I was dreading the thought of going. I constantly pictured myself at the party being socially awkward. I would keep coming up with excuses in my head of how I could get out of going. However, I knew that to move forward I would have to get over these hurdles. As it turns out, the party wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, nor were the next few parties after that. It’s like anything I guess, the more you do something the easier it becomes. Which is what happened after the first sober date; once I’d jumped that first dreaded hurdle it became easier and easier.

Slowly, I would start to see the benefits of being the sober one. Sure, maybe I wasn’t as loud, or cracking as many jokes, as the people drinking but at least at the end of the night I was coming home with money in my wallet and a clear head. It was a nice change to be able to remember everything that happened on a night out. The biggest benefit was saying goodbye to hangovers. Waking up fresh on the weekends has opened up a whole new world of opportunities. This simple pleasure was something that I’d not really experienced many times before. In my first (and last) blog ‘My twenty-year love-hate relationship with alcohol’, I calculated that I’d roughly wasted three and a half years of my life laying on a couch watching TV, hungover. With hangovers now out of my life, I’ve gained at least one night a week (from not drinking) and one full day (from no hangovers). I now find I have time to do things that I’ve wanted to do for years but never thought I had the time or money.

Another huge benefit of saying goodbye to booze is the amount of money you save. Also, the amount of energy you find you really have. Last year I discovered that with all the extra time, money and energy I had, I could finally start living the life that alcohol was holding me back from living. My thirst for alcohol became a thirst for knowledge. I took a short course in photography, which was something I’d always been interested in. I enjoyed it so much that I ended up doing two more similar courses. I also started up at a guitar-building school and built a bass guitar as well as rebuilding an old bass guitar that I had. I started studying Spanish. Learning another language was always on my bucket list. When alcohol was in my life, the thought of studying anything after work was just not an option. I couldn’t think of anything worse back then. Probably because I spent most of the week tired and recovering from the weekend. When I was drinking I would come home from work exhausted and quite often fall asleep on the couch before dinner. These days, most evenings I feel like doing something productive.

Realising how much more time I had on my hands got me thinking how I could get more hours out of a week to do things I wanted to do. So I slowly cut back on TV, to a point where I don’t really watch any now. I was watching probably three hours a night and maybe ten hours a day on a weekend, if I was really hungover. That’s up to thirty-five hours a week I’m getting back. So now I feel like I’m making up for some of that time I wasted with all those hangovers. I cut back on social media as well. Cutting out roughly an hour a day gives me another seven hours per week.

I love to travel. A big dream of mine was to do a big trip around the world. So now with a clear head, I put together a plan to make it happen. Obviously giving up partying was a huge saving but it also got me thinking of other ways to save money. As the year went on I could almost feel the brain cells grow back and actually started to feel smarter. Well, I was at least thinking a hell of a lot clearer anyway. Even the fact that I’m now writing blogs. The old me would have laughed at the idea of writing. The old me couldn’t have been bothered. My memory has never been great but I think that has improved a bit as well.

So by the end of 2017, after a year of planning and saving hard, I was off on my dream holiday. I travelled to twenty countries over six and a half months and ticked off a bunch of things from the bucket list. Peru and the Inca Trail were at the top of my bucket list. I got to spend seven weeks in Peru and did the Inca Trail. It was as amazing as I hoped it would be. I swam with sharks on the Belize Barrier Reef and snorkeled with a manatee. I went caving in some beautiful caves in Cuba, Belize, and Vietnam. I went to a few NBA games in Canada and the US and went to an NHL game. I went on the biggest zip line in the southern hemisphere, in Costa Rica, Superman style. In Nicaragua I saw flowing lava in a volcano, I climbed volcanos and even boarded down one. I met hundreds of people and made new friends all over the globe.

Living that dream was the best thing I’ve ever done. There is no doubt that it was better than a bunch of nights out at my local pub. That was another one of my reasons for wanting to stop drinking. I figured that I had been drunk so many times and had so many nights out but there were so many countries out there waiting to be explored. So why would I want to live the repetitious life of getting drunk every weekend when that money could be getting spent on something much more rewarding.

I think one appeal of alcohol is that it’s a quick solution to make you feel good. At least, that’s what we think. Is it really making you feel good though? If you are a heavy drinker like I was, there was only really a window of maybe a few hours that you felt good and happy before things started to get blurry and memory loss kicked in. For that few hours of feeling good, I would have to pay. Not just financially but for the next few days whilst I recovered. They say the older you get the worse the hangovers get. I partially agree with that. In my case, the hangovers were not necessarily getting worse but just lasting a lot longer. I don’t believe that it was just because I was getting older though. I think it was because the older I got the more alcohol I could handle and the longer I could drink for. As an adolescent, I maybe drank for two to six hours before vomiting or passing out. As I got older, I practically trained myself to be able to drink all through the day and night. So if your drinking sessions are three to four times longer than when you started out drinking, it makes sense that the hangovers are going to last three to four times longer.

So I eventually realised the hangovers that lasted for days were just not worth the one night (a few hours) of fun. In fact, the nights were no longer even really fun anymore. Rollercoasters are great fun but I imagine if you sat on one for twenty years, the novelty would probably wear off. Not only was drinking no longer as fun as it used to be but it was slowly becoming depressing. I felt like I was walking through a really long tunnel, slowly walking away from the light (the fun times) and into the darkness.

I think a lot of people are under the misconception that a night out with friends was fun because they were drunk. Maybe the night out was fun because you enjoy the company of your friends and they make you laugh. I don’t miss the taste of alcohol or the action of drinking. I do miss hanging out and having a laugh with friends though. It’s just unfortunate that having nights out in our culture, and most Western cultures, usually involves alcohol.

When I went back to work after travelling for the first half of the year, there was a new guy at work. He’s one of the most stereotypical Australians I’ve ever met. A tradie who’s life revolves around football, cricket, gambling, and beer. When he found out I didn’t drink, it was as if I’d just told him I was an alien or something. ‘What’s wrong with ya!?’ he said, in absolute shock. That reaction really annoyed me. I don’t think it was necessarily him I was annoyed at though. I was more annoyed because I felt that statement summed up the mentality of so many Australians. Because the vast majority of Aussies drink, they seem to think there must be something wrong with anyone that doesn’t. Coming home and having to deal with that attitude again was kind of unwelcoming.

People get stuck in loops. If you have a big night every weekend you usually feel pretty run down for a few days. Later in the week, you might feel like you need to get drunk to pick you up again. I think that in itself is a misconception though. Does it really make us feel that good? We might tell ourselves that it makes us feel good because we’ve had so many fun nights with alcohol. But really, there’s nothing fun about drinking alone and it doesn’t really make you feel good either. In fact, if you’re drinking alone, it’s probably making you feel more alone. Some people say they like a drink because it helps them relax. Is it the alcohol making you relaxed though, or the fact that you’re no longer at work and now sitting at home with your feet up. Ask yourself: Why do I drink? Question your relationship with alcohol. Is it really making you happier? I would actually love to hear all your answers.

Other negative loops can be eating too much and having weight issues. I’ve never really been overweight but I can relate to overweight people. Eating fatty or sugary foods is a way to momentarily feel good but then you may have the remorse when you start to put on weight. You might start to get down because of how you look, so you eat something that tastes good to make you feel better again. It’s a snowball effect. Drinking is the same. I enjoyed getting drunk (in the early days anyway) but then would have regrets about wasting money and only having myself to blame for feeling like rubbish for days after. It starts to really beat you down after so many years.

In my last year of drinking, that metaphorical tunnel was getting dark. To my surprise, it continued to get darker after I stopped drinking. Eventually, I stopped, I turned around. Now I’m heading back towards the light end and into a much happier and brighter future. I’m slowly becoming stronger, healthier and wealthier. I now feel like I’m stuck in a positive loop. The healthier I become physically, the healthier I become mentally, so I want to become stronger and healthier physically etc. At thirty-eight years old the thought of turning forty was really getting me down. Not now though; now I’m genuinely excited to see what my future holds and no longer worried about being in my forties.

It’s probably no real big surprise that one of the biggest benefits of getting rid of binge drinking from your life, is the health benefit. I had suffered from headaches and poor digestion as long as I can remember. Now for the first time in my life, my body is functioning the way it should be and coincidentally, no more headaches! For decades I had tried to work out what was causing the headaches. I now believe they were caused by digestive issues which were most likely linked to dehydration from binge drinking. The last few years I was drinking, I also noticed my legs would ache a lot. Sometimes to the point that I couldn’t sleep because my legs were so restless and aching so much. I had read that this could be caused by being dehydrated.

Which made sense, considering I was almost always in a state of dehydration. When I was drinking, I would constantly need water at hand, even all through the week. I was always thirsty. About six months after giving up alcohol, I started to notice that I could survive without having a water bottle constantly attached to my hand. About six to twelve months later, I started to notice my legs weren’t aching as much. There were a couple of times in the years leading up to me giving up alcohol that I had a month off drinking. When my legs still ached after a month sober, I decided that it must have been just from work and because I was getting old. Even though I didn’t think it was quite right to feel like that before I’d even turned forty. As it turns out, it takes longer than one month for your body to fully recover from twenty years of abuse. So, my advice to anyone looking to give up drinking is, don’t give up after a month because you haven’t noticed enough changes. It’s now been two years for me and I’m still discovering new benefits. I’ve never been diagnosed with anxiety but I definitely am an overthinker and occasionally get anxious about things. For example, I would overthink everything I posted on social media. I probably deleted fifty percent of things I posted because I would sit there overthinking what I had posted and wondering what people would think. In the last year, I think I’ve only deleted maybe one or two posts. So obviously my mental health is in a much better place as well.

They say ‘you are what you eat’. I now know what they mean by that. Although, I think the saying should be, ‘you are what you consume’. It’s amazing how much your mental and physical health changes when you stop fueling your body with rubbish and start filling it with decent fuel.

A quick recap of the last two years:

Made peace with who I really am.
Randomly got offered (and accepted) a great job.
Travelled the world for six and a half months.
Swam with sharks.
Hiked the Inca Trail.
Climbed a volcano.
Lowered my anxiety levels.
Became healthier and stronger both physically and mentally.
For the first time in thirteen years, got involved in a serious relationship.

Far too many amazing life-changing events to just be a coincidence that they happened when I stopped drinking. Having said that, I did go through some tough times as I adjusted to a life without alcohol. My tip for anyone considering going down the long and rough road to a sober life (I learned this on my travelling. It’s a bit of a cliche but it’s true): Sometimes the longest and bumpiest roads, lead to the best places.

Anonymous

Written by Zane Pocock

If you’ve decided to forgo alcohol, maintaining a healthy social life is one of the most difficult aspects that many of us are familiar with. This is a complex enough challenge when we stay in the same place; maintaining friendships that have been partially built on drinking, getting through the Christmas season and getting to know yourself again are just the start of the hurdles we face.

But removing yourself completely only makes this change even harder, even if it might initially seem easier to start over. Whether by choice or for work, family or any other reason, sometimes we find ourselves leaving our old lives behind not only behaviourally, but geographically as well. It’s no small undertaking and it can be even more difficult when we’ve already removed a crutch we previously relied on.

I have now moved to an entirely different country twice since I decided to stop drinking. The first time was so difficult that I reflect on those three years with a feeling that I partially wasted a chunk of my mid-20s.

The main realisation is obvious in hindsight but difficult to confront when life is already busy: not all enjoyment, socialising and purpose can come from work and family. No matter where we find ourselves, it’s imperative to build a community. In my case, the easiest way to do this in a new environment would have been to hit the piss and connect with others over painting the town red. Hell, I’m comfortable admitting that I did that the first time I moved and I still have lifelong friends from that time.

But habits change and now I don’t drink. I’m still comfortable and happy about this decision, but it has made life difficult when moving around the world. So what do you do?

Here are some tips I’ve discovered for moving to a new place as a non-drinker. They can probably be applied to all situations, but moving geographically is a particularly difficult challenge to navigate. The key is to follow through on these intentions.

Build your comfort zone

This post is all about getting into social environments and building your sense of community without the help of alcohol. Although it might seem counterintuitive, one of the best things I’ve done is put a lot of effort into making myself feel at home.

For the three years that we were living in Sydney, my wife and I never set up our own place. We moved into a fully furnished apartment because we liked the harbour view, and that was that. But it never once felt like home – it always felt like we were living in someone else’s life, in transit to whatever our ‘permanent’ home was going to be.

This was a mistake. No matter how important it is to get outside and meet people in your new community, it’s equally important to have a home that you feel comfortable in; somewhere that offers respite from a loud, busy world and can function as a home base for all the battles and challenges you’re going to face.

So, what makes a place feel like home for you? For us it meant we needed to buy our own furniture, invest in some resilient house plants, and front up for the wall-repair costs to install some art that we actually wanted to live with. I had forgotten the feeling of walking in the door and feeling the stress drop off as my nest was revealed before me. It’s helped me acclimatise and jump into unknown situations with the knowledge that there’s a comfortable respite waiting to greet me later in the evening.

Join a Meetup group

What are you passionate about? A great hack I’ve found for easing into social situations without the help of a drink, has been to connect with others that are interested in similar things to me. It means the conversation flows relatively seamlessly – in many cases, so effectively that I found it easier than with alcohol.

Meetup is a powerful online tool for this, with in-person gatherings organised by crowds of like-minded people in various group sizes and locations. I was astonished by how many groups I could join when I signed up for the service and I’ve made healthy use of it. I try to get to something every week and my community thus far has essentially grown from this central hub.

There are other options, most of which are facilitated through other virtual or online communities – it all depends on what social channel your people tend to concentrate on. Local Facebook groups will often be very specific and bond over a sense of where you’ve come from. In my case, for example, a group of New Zealanders in New York has been a supportive, thriving community. Or an app like Shapr facilitates one-on-one meetings. This has been great for professional and personal connections alike, in a context that allows for deeper personal relationships to be built.

Join a sports club

This is similar to interest-aligned socialising such as joining Meetups or book clubs, except sport is a particularly helpful exercise (sorry) thanks to the endorphins – locking those good feelings into a connection with the people you’re with and forming incredibly deep, meaningful social bonds. The key thing to realise here is that you don’t have to be any good.

It’s also a great way to get to know a different culture. For me, baseball was a foreign concept, but through engaging with a local club I now feel like a piece of the American puzzle has been filled in for me – while also being a lot of fun.

Show up

When I’m at home before an event, the sun has set and I’m a little tired from the day, I’ve always found it the obvious choice to just stay home. Social environments exhaust me; even more so now that I don’t have a prop to launch me into everyone else’s superhuman social level.

But from my recent experience, Woody Allen seems to be right when he says, “Showing up is 80% of life.” When I moved earlier this year, it didn’t take long to fall into the familiar trap of signing up for things then using every available excuse not to go. I was tired, it was too hot, the commute too long, I had very important work to do … You know them all.

But in the past couple of months I adopted a policy that I had to go to everything I signed up for. This had some great benefits. It forced me to filter the signal from the noise on all the great groups I’d signed up to, through Meetup and the like. For most of us, we’re never going to go out for something every single evening. That is objectively exhausting and it requires being picky about what you sign up for. It means I’ve actually gone to things and now that I’ve met people, not only do they expect to see me again, but I also feel familiar with the environment and more comfortable heading out. It’s a self-reinforcing social cycle.

Keep in touch back home

Life gets busy, and if there’s one thing I know painfully well it’s that international social connections take a lot of effort to maintain, even with the global communications infrastructure we now have at our fingertips. Heck, sometimes it feels difficult enough if people are just in another neighbourhood.

Thing is, when you’re not seeing your friends, family and colleagues as often as you used to, it’s easy for this to escalate into full-blown social isolation – even if you’re doing everything else to establish a new community, perfectly. Home is where the heart is, and no matter how well you set yourself up, you’re likely going to miss everyone you’ve left behind.

Some people I know are really good at managing this, but if you’re not one of them then the solution, unfortunately, is good scheduling. Particularly if you’re managing different time zones, it’s helpful to have a regular recurring catch-up with the people you miss the most – it reduces the cognitive load for everyone involved and the game theory means everyone will give a second thought to cancelling at the last minute – what if you’ve arisen early or passed up another opportunity? Take your pick of medium for this – there are so many services from Skype to Facetime that there’s no point listing any preferred ones.

Challenge yourself to start conversations

In case you can’t tell by now, I’m a ‘textbook’ introvert. Socialising doesn’t come naturally to me and it takes a lot of energy to feel confident without liquid courage.

Are you curious about the place you find yourself in? That curiosity alone is probably enough to fuel an avalanche of questions for any locals you meet. That’s been the case for me. We all know this can be easy if you go down to the local bar, but if that’s difficult to manage then you can try some other tricks. One of my favourites is to skip the supermarket and instead go to the local butcher, baker, farmers’ market and the like. These environments are socially similar to bars as they often become local community hubs and you’ll find the people behind the counter will have sunk deep roots into the local goings-on and way of life.

I also try to make a habit of striking up conversations with taxi- and Uber drivers, people I’m stuck in a queue with, and in any other situation that seems ripe for a chat – with varying success. Pro tip: New Yorkers don’t like talking on the Subway.

Practice self-care

No matter how many times people stress the importance of looking after yourself, it’s always worth being reminded of it and I’m sure many of us have yoga, meditation and exercise goals on our New Year’s resolution lists.

But the amount of noise generated in the name of self-care doesn’t undermine its value. A good diet, for example, is going to substantially change how your mood evolves in the course of a day and have a material impact on how you interact with others while you’re building your community.

Proper self-care brings the disparate pieces of the puzzle together. It means you have routines to get in to the day and unwind at the end of it. Exercise helps you think straight, and consistent sleep cycles help you reinforce things you’ve learned and build good mental models for your new environment. Look after yourself and the rest will follow.

Consider getting a pet

This one might be a bit difficult to manage so it’s certainly an optional suggestion. With that caveat aside, getting a dog is one of the best things I’ve ever done for my sense of community.

Within a few months of our most recent move, my wife and I had adopted a puppy. It’s a blessing in disguise because we’re constantly being forced outside for her toilet breaks, only to meet half the residents in our neighbourhood. Even ‘back home’ I have never felt so connected to a community as I do right now. After all, dogs will be dogs, and when they get together to do their doggy things the only option owners are left with is to get to know each other.

If a pet isn’t appropriate for your situation, just talk to your neighbours! I feel like I’m tapped into this thriving hyper-local network which isn’t exclusive to dog owners – it just helps to have the excuse. Now, when we have 20 police officers gathering in the apartment building hallway (true story) there are enough of us connected to systematically work out what’s happening, despite their tight-lipped approach. It’s deeply rewarding – and even a good safety precaution – to know the people you live amongst.

This list is not exhaustive, but it accurately presents the steps I’ve taken to build a community in a new environment as a non-drinker. What was a daunting task when I first moved, is now an opportunity to slowly construct exactly the life I want to live and the community I want to be surrounded by. If you find yourself in a similar situation, see it for the promise it holds and invest heavily in building your new social life. It makes life fun again. What have you found that works for building your community?

“Nothing for me please.”

Don’t let your decision to cut back or quit drinking make you feel like you can’t join in and enjoy a nice drink with someone special, to celebrate an occasion or to indulge in after a long day.

Thankfully, we are living during a time in history where there are some excellent non-alcoholic beverage choices, and we’re not just talking about ordering a Coke or an OJ.

There are some equally good booze-free spirits, beers and wines available on the market and here are some of our favs:

Seedlip

Seedlip offers a drink that is just as attractive as a nice, stylish bottle of gin. For those who want an alternative to alcohol and who still want to sip on something high quality, this is the drink for you. The beautiful graphics decorating the bottle make Seedlip feel like the real deal. They started in London and are now well-stocked in bars and restaurants globally offering three different blends: Spice 94, Garden 108 & Grove 42.

The Australian representative came to the Hello Sunday Morning HQ one day to explain their whole ethos and we all tried a few non-alcoholic cocktails at work. Happy to say we loved them and still had a productive afternoon!

Cost: The bottles retail for $50AUD

Recipe idea: Seedlip Garden is made with peas, hay, spearmint, rosemary, and thyme. Instructions: In a tall glass with ice, combine 1 1/2 ounces of Seedlip Garden 108 and 4 ounces of a high-quality tonic like Fever Tree. Give a quick stir, then garnish with a few lime wheels.

Altina

Created for people to enjoy delicious drinks and not wake up with a hangover, the Australian team behind Altina Drinks are passionate about reducing the stigma about alcoholic drinks being the only choice when socialising.

“People should be able to drink on their terms, without being judged.”

The idea for Altina was born when one of the creators, Christina DeLay, started realising her drinking habits were starting to impact her health. “It just became such a big part of life and I found that I really wasn’t mindful of it at all.”

The Altina range is made from Australian native plant ingredients including bark, spices, flowers and herbs. Altina has started a crowdfunding campaign to build up their sustainable social enterprise.

Brunswick Aces

These guys are based out of Melbourne, producing a non-alcoholic gin to provide a tasty alternative for those who choose to go sans booze. Created from locally grown ingredients, there’s a couple of blends to choose from.

Hearts is closer to your classic gin notes: a spicy mix of juniper, wattleseed, cloves, star anise, ginger, sage and pink grapefruit.

Spades has more of a citrus kick, forgoing juniper all together in favour of lime, grapefruit, cardamom, parsley and lemon myrtle.

Cost: $50 for a 700ml bottle

Best recipe: Hearts at the Beach

70ml Brunswick Aces Hearts Blend

70ml CAPI Yuzu

35ml Coconut Water

Served in a martini glass with a desiccated coconut “sugar” rim and a charred coconut ribbon

Carlton Zero

For the beer lovers who don’t want to pass up a ‘cold one’ with mates on a hot Friday afternoon.

“It’s crafted with the same quality ingredients as our other beers.”

Carlton Zero is slightly hoppy with a fruity aroma and is a full-flavoured classic beer.
Demand for non-alcoholic beer continues to grow in Australia and internationally as people are becoming more health conscious. Low and mid-strength beers now represent 20% of CUB sales as consumers increasingly moderate their alcohol intake. Changing your relationship with alcohol just got easier as there are more and more social drinking options available for those who choose to be sober!

Ariel Cabernet Sauvignon

It is hard to pass up a rich red wine on a chilly night in, or while enjoying a delicious meal with company. You don’t have to rule out wine just because you may be thinking of cutting back or quitting drinking.

This wine is made in a sustainable winery in Paso Robles, California. After fermenting in stainless steel it’s aged in oak barrels, and just before bottling, the alcohol is “gently removed by cold filtration.” Ariel Cabernet Sauvignon offers aromas of black currants, cherry, blueberries and chocolate, with soft tannins and a dry finish.

Cost: $21.99

Recommendation: Best served with Italian food and rich tomato sauces.

June 17, 2018. The day that would change my life forever.

I started drinking at the young age of 14, and I fell in love with being drunk. It made life fun and entertaining, and turned me into a more sociable and likeable person. It helped ease my nerves in a social environment and made me not care what others thought about me. To be frank, it made me not care at all.

I liked the feeling of security and invincibility when I was intoxicated. It wasn’t until after years of drinking and getting older that I learned my lessons the hard way. I started experiencing the negative impact alcohol had on me but it still didn’t stop me. I was blind to it. I was too stubborn and delusional to admit I had a lost control with my drinking.

My drinking turned me into someone I hated

I would say and do things to family members and people I loved that I would regret years later. I would say and do whatever I wanted without thinking about the short- or long-term consequences.

Alcohol let me live in a distorted world where anything goes. I thought I was on top of the world and in control of everything, only to have the world fall apart and crush me underneath. After a failed relationship, I was no longer drinking for the same reasons I did when I was younger. It was no longer for pleasure, enjoyment or social gatherings; I was drinking to kill or at least ease pain, loneliness, self-pity, blame, anger, hatred, shame, guilt and depression. It was the end of the world. I was in a black hole. I felt like there was nothing left for me. I was literally trying to drink myself to death.

I couldn’t function normally without alcohol in my system

The only way to stop the sweating and shaking at night was to wake up and have a drink. I thought I could never break this vicious cycle, so I lost hope and accepted my defeat.

At this point, the few people who still loved and cared about me saw a version of me that nobody had seen before; a version of me that I never thought I could be. They knew I was battling demons stronger than I had thought possible. I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy or pity because the hard truth was I had put myself in the position I was in. I didn’t want to admit it, accept it or even face it.

I told myself that death had to be better than whatever this thing called life was, and by this stager my family had seen and heard enough. My parents mentioned the idea of sending me into a detox and rehab center for my drinking. I still can’t say how or why it happened but one day I could see how much my self-destructive drinking was hurting my family. Parents were watching a son, and brothers were watching a brother inch closer to his funeral.

I finally decided, after spending half of my life in denial, that I had a problem with my drinking and it was time to get help

So low was my self-regard that I feel that the decision to go into detox and rehab was done more for the sake of my family that for myself. Ironically, it was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t being selfish. I wanted to die but my family wanted me to live. It took a lot of courage and willpower for me to finally admit that I had a problem, and that it was time for change.

That decision started me on the road to controlling my life again. It gave me a higher sense of personal responsibility and ownership. I agreed to enter a detox and rehab center on June 17, 2018. The idea of entering a detox and rehab centre was terrifying at first. I asked myself, “how did I ever get to this point?” I told myself, “I’m nothing like these other people here, I don’t belong in a place like this.” But I realised on the very first day just how wrong I was.

We all shared an obvious weakness in common. However, we were also defiant, courageous and strong enough to admit we needed help. People like us come from all ages, backgrounds and walks of life, and if you saw us on the street you would not know that we had lost control of our drinking habits.

I came to understand how my choices and behaviours had affected people who’d had the misfortune of crossing paths with the old me. I acknowledged and accepted the chaos and destruction I’d inflicted on others – I had no choice but to. I was finally able to forgive myself for what I had done in the hope that, one day, those that I have harmed can forgive me, even though I may not deserve it.

The new, sober me has learned to love myself and others again

The new, sober me is the strongest version of me I’ve ever known. It was the longest, darkest and hardest battle I had ever fought. Accepting that I needed help allowed me to take back control of my life. It made me feel I was human again, and not an abomination to society. My only regret is not going through treatment sooner…but I also learned it’s never too late to seek help.

Written by Hello Sunday Morning supporter, Kevin Repass

The NIAAA defines a binge drinker as someone who consumes more than five standard drinks in one sitting. If every Australian was asked to put their hand up if they know someone who has had this many drinks on a weekend (or if they do themselves), it would probably look like a national Mexican wave.

When we think about binge drinking, often we imagine teenagers or young adults downing pints of beer or spirits, and getting into tricky situations, having to go to hospital, making regrettable decisions and generally being pretty messy. One thing that might surprise you is that, statistically, some groups of older adults are alongside their younger counterparts in being classified as ‘binge drinkers’.

Binge drinking is something that many older adults might be in the habit of doing, either at home with their partners, or while out with friends. Think about barbecues, dinner parties, long lunches … situations where there is lots of alcohol available, no real limits on time, and surrounded by others who are drinking similar quantities.

Drinking to celebrate or ‘cut loose’

Often in these situations it is expected that people will be drinking to get drunk, and drunken behaviour is either tolerated or celebrated – maybe it is part of a bonding experience or a way to relax. Often it is something that we don’t really think of as being unusual or problematic if it is all around us and everyone is doing the same thing. Sometimes it is only when we start to experience the harms of binge drinking, like health issues, mood issues the following day, or consequences from decisions made when drinking, that we might consider making changes.

Binge drinking amongst older adults has been in the spotlight lately, most notably for the fact that as we get older, our bodies respond differently to alcohol and so drinking to excess can have much more significant effects than when we were younger. In addition to this, there are all the other risks that arise when we are drinking to excess. Things like falling over, risky behaviour, drink driving or even getting involved in altercations. Adults who are binge drinking might describe feeling really ashamed about some of the situations they find themselves in, saying things like;

‘I should know better, I’m an adult!’, or ‘I can’t believe I got so bad, I’m really embarrassed’.

As adults we like to feel in control and often have lots of responsibilities and so it can be frightening to find ourselves in situations where we can’t remember what happened, or being told that we behaved in a certain way because of alcohol.

The health effects of binging

Doctors will often advise those over 50 to moderate their alcohol consumption, with an increased risk of all types of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, kidney and liver disease seen in high-risk drinkers over this age. For us, we see a lot of Daybreak members making the decision to step away from binge drinking around this age. This is due to a number of reasons, including health, mood, and also a desire to socialise in a more moderate and balanced way. Many people actually find that when they cut back on their drinking, social occasions are a lot more manageable (fewer hangovers and consequences) and they will be able to focus on interacting with friends and loved ones, rather than drinking to excess.

If you think you’re at risk of binge drinking, or you fit into the category of someone who is drinking in excess regularly, here are some ideas to start to make changes:

Monitor your drinking for a week – just keep track of how much you drink by taking note on your phone. Consider how much you’d like to be drinking and how much would be reasonable for you to aim for. Consider the situations in which you might be wanting to drink less and the situations where no change is needed.

Try implementing some replacement behaviours – like soda water or even low-alcohol beer or wine, to see if this will help to reduce the amount you are consuming in a session. Even a few glasses of soda water with lime is going to help your body to process alcohol if you are drinking. Often we tend to binge when those around us are drinking heavily, there are no limitations, and we are drinking on an empty stomach, so see if you can address these issues.

Take note of the ‘culture’ in your friendship group – is it around getting drunk together, and if so, what might you like to change about this? Sometimes this can be the biggest challenge – saying no to that extra drink and needing to explain that you are cutting back, and why. Try experimenting with this and some possible reasons you may have for cutting back, including health, or even saying ‘I’m taking a break for a while, to see what it’s like without alcohol’.

Talk to those around you about creating goals– for reducing the amount you are drinking. Discuss with them how much is ‘enough’ and what kind of relationship with alcohol you might like to form. Maybe your partner or friends are also noticing the cumulative effects of alcohol on their bodies and mood. Perhaps consciously changing the drinking culture in your home might help turn things around and give you a boost.

Consider situations where you generally don’t drink as much and look at what helps in that situation – is it knowing you have a limit (e.g. driving), or is it situations where you’ve eaten beforehand, or are with people you know aren’t big drinkers? See if you can use these existing situations to inform future plans. Similarly, consider the situations where you tend to drink heavily, what is happening there? Is there an expectation that you’ll drink, and a situation that supports this (e.g. staying overnight, unlimited alcohol).

Ensure that if you are going to a party or social event, that you have eaten – or are going to eat something to balance the effect of alcohol on your stomach. Many people will experience gastrointestinal issues as a result of drinking on an empty stomach, this means that the alcohol impacts us more quickly, as well as irritating the stomach lining and leading to further health issues.

If you find you need extra support to help you change, check out Hello Sunday Mornings’ mobile behaviour change program, Daybreak.