Navigating the silly season: Fake it till you make it, or lead by example?

December is just around the corner, and with it comes a calendar full of Christmas parties, end-of-year drinks, and office functions. For anyone taking a break from alcohol or stopping completely, this season can feel like the ultimate stress test. How do you handle all those “just one glass” moments without feeling awkward or out of place?

From my own experience, there are really two paths.

When I first quit drinking, I leaned heavily on the fake it till you make it strategy. Sometimes I’d accept a glass of wine but leave it untouched. Other times I would use the old apple juice in a wine glass trick or grab a non-alcoholic beer so it looked like I was drinking.  It gave me cover, helped me dodge the constant questions, and made those early months bearable.

But over time, I realised there’s another way, a harder way at first, but ultimately more rewarding: leading by example.

At a party not long ago, a waiter came around topping up everyone’s champagne. When I said, “no thanks,” he looked shocked even a little offended.  “But it’s MOET,” he insisted, as if declining a drink was a personal insult.  And how could I possible say no to Moet?  Well, it was never my fav overrated IMO.  That kind of reaction is common.  Sometimes people avoid you.   Sometimes they press for explanations, especially if you were a heavy drinker before, which on occasion I was.

But here’s the flip side: by saying no, and then later being on the dance floor or deep in conversation, you show people something powerful that fun doesn’t require alcohol. In fact, I’ve found I’m more comfortable now, staying later, sometimes even enjoying myself more than I did when I was drinking.

It took me a couple of years to feel confident in that role.  But now, I see it as a small act of myth-busting: each time I show up sober and still have a good time, I chip away at the idea that drinking is the ticket to fun.

So, if you’re heading into this festive season alcohol-free, know that both approaches are valid. In the beginning, little tricks like the apple juice in the wine glass, the untouched champagne flute can get you through. But as you grow more comfortable, you may find joy in turning the myth on its head. And hey, I am always laughing when I wake up with a clear head Sunday morning!

This holiday season, maybe it’s not about whether you fake it or lead by example. Maybe it’s about knowing you can do either and still enjoy the party on your terms.