Sobering Science: Can being kind to yourself help with drinking concerns?

When life gets tough, friends often tell us "Be kind to yourself." This advice sounds supportive and caring, but does it help in the real world?

Can being ‘kind’ to yourself actually make a difference to how people drink alcohol, or is it just a comforting message? To find out how self-compassion and self-forgiveness influence how people drink, researchers looked at findings from multiple studies that explored this important issue.

What was the study?

Researchers reviewed 37 studies to examine how self-compassion and self-forgiveness influence how people drink alcohol:

• 18 were about self-compassion
• 18 were about self-forgiveness
• 1 was about both

Self-compassion involved:

• Being gentle with yourself
• Accepting that everyone struggles in some way (shared humanity)
• Not dwelling on negative feelings.

Self-forgiveness involved:

• Letting go of self-blame
• Moving forward after making mistakes.

The goals of the study were to understand if:

 1) these practices protect people from drinking excessively, and

2) if they help people move on from alcohol-related problems.

What were the results?

Here’s what the study found:

1. Self-compassion and drinking
   People who were kinder to themselves:

• Drank less often
• Experienced fewer alcohol problems (like blackouts or regrets)

Why?

• Self-compassion helps people cope with stress, anxiety, and negative emotions in healthier ways, reducing the urge to drink for relief.
• It may also reduce feelings of regret or shame, which are major drivers of drinking heavily.

2. Self-forgiveness and drinking
   People who forgave themselves:

• Drank less excessively (though not necessarily less drinking overall). 
• Felt less depressed and guilty

Why?

• Guilt often makes people drink more alcohol
• Self-forgiveness breaks this cycle 

3. Self-kindness in alcohol treatment

• People in treatment learned to forgive themselves more, which led to:
  • Fewer heavy drinking days
  • Less alcohol-related harm
• One self-forgiveness program (3 weeks long) helped people:
  • Say ‘no’ to alcohol
  • Feel less shame
• Some studies found that practicing self-compassion helped reduce drinking after treatment was finished.

Why does this matter?

This research is important because it’s the first analysis of the collective findings from many studies looking at what happens to people’s drinking patterns when they practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Here’s why the findings matter:

1. Potential for prevention

• Self-compassion training (e.g., mindfulness and other cognitive behaviour therapy approaches) could help people to avoid drinking to cope with uncomfortable feelings.

2. Improving alcohol treatment

• Self-forgiveness interventions could help people in treatment (such as our Hello Change program) to overcome negative self-talk, self-criticism and feelings of shame, which are major triggers to relapse.

In a nutshell

So, can being kind to yourself really help to reduce problems with drinking? This review of results from multiple studies over the past 15 years showed that yes, practicing self-compassion (treating yourself with kindness) and self-forgiveness (letting go of self-blame) may play crucial roles in preventing, and moving on from, drinking too much.

At Hello Sunday Morning, all of our programs are designed to support you at any time of your choosing, and in whatever your goals are for drinking – either cutting down, taking a break or quitting altogether. Try out our Hello Change program that will help you to learn specific ways to manage uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, and our supportive and anonymous Daybreak community who will cheer you on, every step of the way.